Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

My Heart Belongs to Daddy (2005)

Shawn Pyfrom: Andrew Van De Kamp

Quotes 

• [George has dinner with the Van De Kamps] 

  Andrew Van De Kamp : So, George, can I ask you a question? And it's kind of personal.

  George Williams : Sure.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Have you ever actually been with a woman?

  George Williams : [chuckling]  Excuse me?

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Well, let's be honest. I think it's obvious by the way that you talk and act that you're not a player, so I was just curious to find out if you had ever actually gotten in the game.

  George Williams : My experience with women is none of your business.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Oh, I think it is. I mean, you're dating my mom. And we both know that at your age, dating's a little more than just holding hands.

  George Williams : We're not dating exactly.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Oh, sure you are. And you know what? I think it's great. But I wanna make sure my mom's happy, you know, and it would really set my mind at ease to know that she's with a guy that knows how to please a lady.

  George Williams : This is inappropriate.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : You know, my parents had a great sex life. Man, I heard 'em through the wall of my bedroom once.

  George Williams : Please shut up.

  Andrew Van De Kamp : You should've heard my mom, too. She had this... this weird moan. It was kind of like, um...

  [Andrew makes a moan that's followed by an unh!] 

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Isn't that bizarre? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes.

  [a dumbfounded George looks at Andrew while Bree and Danielle enter with cobblers] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : Okay, time for cobbler. Sorry, one of the dessert plates doesn't match. I tried to replace it, but it's Spode Florence. It's a rare pattern. It belonged to my grandmother. But hopefully once you taste the dessert, you'll forget all about it.

  George Williams : I'm not hungry.

  Bree Van De Kamp : George, you have to have this. It's absolutely scrumptious.

  [Bree takes a bite] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : Mmm. Mmm!

  [George looks from Bree to Andrew, who points to Bree and mouths "That's it." George slams his fist and stands up] 

  George Williams : Go to your room!

• Andrew Van De Kamp : Isn't that weird? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes!