Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

Ah, But Underneath (2004)

Felicity Huffman: Lynette Scavo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Beefy Middle-Aged Woman : Listen, it seems to me that you have some anger management issues.

  Lynette Scavo : I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues.

• [after the kids bite and knock the beefy middle-aged woman over] 

  Lynette Scavo : Run, boys, run!

• Susan : I think we should give it to Paul.

  Gabrielle Solis : He's still mourning Susan. He'll probably freak out.

  Susan : It doesn't matter. She was his wife. He deserves to have all the facts.

  Bree Van De Kamp : Well, we could do it gently. We could tell him about it over coffee and pastry.

  Lynette Scavo : That'll be fun. "Paul, we have proof your wife killed herself over some deep dark secret. Another bear claw".

• [a motorcycle cop pulls Lynette over] 

  Officer Hayes : License and registration, please.

  [she hands them to him] 

  Officer Hayes : Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over?

  [she looks at the kids in the back] 

  Lynette Scavo : I have a theory.

  Officer Hayes : The kids were jumping up and down. They should be sitting, wearing their seatbelts.

  Lynette Scavo : I yelled at them. They never listen to me. It's very frustrating.

  Officer Hayes : Well, you have to find a way to control them. After all, that's your job.

  [he hands her the ticket and walks off] 

  Mary Alice Young : [narrating]  Though he'd been a policeman for six years, Officer Hayes had never found himself in a truly dangerous situation. Then again, he had never before told a woman how to raise her children.

  [Lynette furiously gets out of her car and slowly approaches Officer Hayes] 

  Lynette Scavo : Are you saying I'm a bad mother?

  Officer Hayes : Ma'am, you need to get back in your car, please.

  Lynette Scavo : I have no help. My husband's always away on business.

  Officer Hayes : I'm gonna have to ask you to step back now.

  Lynette Scavo : My babysitter joined the Witness Relocation Program! I haven't slept through the night...

  [Officer Hayes slowly reaches for his gun] 

  Officer Hayes : Ma'am.

  Lynette Scavo : ...in six years. And for you to stand there and judge me...

  [she stands in front of Officer Hayes, who's terrified. He looks at the children, who are acting terrible] 

  Officer Hayes : Okay. I'm not gonna give you a ticket. I'm just gonna let you off with a warning.

  Lynette Scavo : I accept your apology.

  [she takes the warning, sighs, and gets back in the car] 

  Officer Hayes : Buckle up.