- Susie Greene: You sick fuck Larry David. What the fuck do you think you're doing getting my kid drunk?
- Larry David: Drunk? What do you...
- Susie Greene: She's sluring her words, she's bumping into things, she stinks like a fucking rhino!
- Larry David: Oh! I poured some wine- and she must've
- Susie Greene: Oh! She must have accidentally. A seven year old, drank some wine?
- Larry David: The glasses! They must have gotten mixed up!
- Susie Greene: Do I look like a fucking idiot to you that I'm gonna believe that shit? You got her drunk and stood the fucking dog. Alright?
- Larry David: No! She- She said I could- have the dog.
- Susie Greene: She told you you could have the dog after you had her all fucked up on alcohol! All liquored up!
- Larry David: I thought It was- a speech Impediment.
- Susie Greene: You've known the kid since she was born and she suddenly developed a speech impediment?
- Larry David: That's what I found so confusing.
- Susie Greene: Alright, listen you four eyed fuck. She's at home, hysterical! That her dog is missing- I don't what you did with him, whether you took him to a charity , or some animal testing, you sicko, fucko, asshole.
- [Larry gets in the car]
- Susie Greene: Get me the fucking dog!
- Larry David: [Larry is interviewing for the chef's position, and points to the bald chef's pate approvingly] Yeah. Yeah! Hey, hey, look at you, look at you!
- Bald Chef: Yeah, look at you!
- Larry David: When did you start losing it?
- Bald Chef: Uh, I started losing when I was fifteen.
- Larry David: Fifteen, wow, earlier than me, yeah.
- Bald Chef: Yeah, a little bit earlier. You know, I actually like it.
- Larry David: Ah. Yeah. Me too.
- Bald Chef: Just put a little sunscreen on, it's fine.
- Larry David: Yeah, a lot of sunscreen, right? Can't go outside without the sunscreen. No convertibles.
- Bald Chef: No convertibles!
- Larry David: Oh, God, I hate that!
- Bald Chef: Absolutely. Because you have to wear a hat, if you're going to be in a convertible, and then you look like you're trying to hide something.
- Larry David: Oh, well, that's what they do, these guys with the hats, don't they? They wear it all the time, and they'll meet a girl or something and then they'll show up on a date, what are they gonna do? They gonna take the hat off? They have a terrible decision to make...
- Bald Chef: Right, right, and then the girl's gonna be like, "I didn't know you were bald."
- Larry David: Yeah, yeah. "You misrepresented yourself!"
- Bald Chef: Exactly. "You're a liar!"
- Larry David: Minoxidil?
- Bald Chef: No. You?
- Larry David: No.
- Bald Chef: Every day for the rest of your life you have to...
- Larry David: Oh my God the drops and everything? I ain't gonna do that...
- Bald Chef: ...and then they gotta massage it in.
- Larry David: ...it's crazy, yeah. Ugh.
- Bald Chef: There's something psychologically going wrong with them...
- Larry David: Psychologically wrong with THEM? What about the transplant people?
- Bald Chef: Oh! I hate those people.
- Larry David: Toupee? Hmm?
- Bald Chef: No.
- Larry David: [skeptically] Huh?
- Bald Chef: Oh, no. Absolutely not!
- Larry David: Those guys, they should kill those guys.
- Bald Chef: Exactly.
- Larry David: I'm surprised Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.
- Bald Chef: Yeah?
- Larry David: I mean if I'm going to be a sick megalomaniac, to round up people who I hated, they would be on my list. I would say, "Get, get the toupee people."
- Bald Chef: Absolutely.
- Larry David: I'd have my henchmen going around, tugging at people's hair; if it comes off...
- Bald Chef: [German accent] "BALDEN! Come with me!" Yeah.
- Larry David: [German accent] "... ACH! Balden!"
- Jeff Greene: [Larry walks out of the restaurant as Jeff runs up to him] Larry! A dog! She chose a fucking dog over her own father!
- Larry David: You sat down, you layed it out...
- Jeff Greene: I talked to her! I told her, daddy's sick! He can't in the same house as Oscar, she wants Oscar! She wants the dog!
- Larry David: Okay, c-calm down...
- Jeff Greene: Where is the dog?
- Larry David: They took him back-to- to your house.
- Jeff Greene: My house? No, no. His house! It's his house! I'm at the W hotel. It's his house now!
- Larry David: By the way, they turned up a bra today. There's no corpse.
- Jeff Greene: [taken aback] A bra?
- Larry David: Yeah. That...
- Jeff Greene: A bra- What the fuck is wrong with that dog?
- Larry David: [chuckles] He's a bra sniffing dog.
- Jeff Greene: A bra sniffing dog? What the fuck!
- Larry David: So they're closing us down for three weeks now.
- Jeff Greene: Because of a bra?
- Larry David: Yeah, they dug up the whole place in there...
- Jeff Greene: [furious] That fucking dog!
- Larry David: Hey, calm down.
- Jeff Greene: No!
- Larry David: Calm down!
- [laughs]