- Larry David: [referring to Susie Greene's bra size] You know what? I think she's about the same size as Maria, my housekeeper.
- Jeff Greene: Really?
- Larry David: Yeah. You know what size she is?
- Jeff Greene: [looking toward Susie] No. I could find out.
- Larry David: Would you?
- Jeff Greene: Sure!
- Larry David: Thank you. Thank you!
- Jeff Greene: Do you know what Cheryl's size is?
- Larry David: I just found out, and I gotta tell ya something - I'm a little disappointed.
- Jeff Greene: Really? What, B cup?
- Larry David: Aah, I'd rather not say.
- Jeff Greene: C?
- Larry David: I can't, you know...
- Jeff Greene: 32? 34?
- Larry David: I don't want to talk about it.
- Jeff Greene: C'mon.
- Larry David: I don't want to talk about it!
- Jeff Greene: Come on! I'm giving you Susie's bra size, give me Cheryl's bra size. It's a trade.
- Larry David: Aah, I can't. I don't want to.
- Jeff Greene: You know what? You don't tell me Cheryl's, I ain't telling you Susie's!
- Larry David: Okay. Fine.
- Jeff Greene: Okay! Fine. I'm not the one who has to go out and buy a bra.
- Larry David: I don't give a shit.
- Jeff Greene: Oh yeah you do.
- Larry David: See this thing? It's a mezuzah. Got that? And I need you to put it over the door here. This is like a Jewish thing - you know, we put it over the door so every anti-Semite in the neighborhood will know that we live here, in case they want to burn down the house.
- Cheryl's Father: This is a nail. I bought this on the internet; it's from "The Passion Of The Christ".
- Larry David: What are you, kidding?
- Cheryl's Father: No. Kind of interesting...
- Larry David: Is that one of those Christ nails from the movie?
- Cheryl's Father: Mm-hmm, yeah. Have you seen it?
- Larry David: [patronizingly] I *didn't* see it. I *missed* "The Passion Of The Christ"...
- Cheryl's Father: Alright, you must... we have it on DVD...
- Larry David: *Wish* I could have gone.
- Cheryl's Father: They have all kinds of things on the internet, you know, for "The Passion Of The Christ".
- Larry David: You're nuts about this Jesus guy, aren't you?
- Cheryl's Father: Yeah. Well, I have a personal relationship with Christ.
- Larry David: Really? See, I could see worshipping Jesus if he were a girl, like if God had a daughter... Jane. I'll worship a Jane. But, you know, to worship a guy... like a little kinda, you know, it's a little gay, isn't it?
- Cheryl David: Uh, okay.
- Cheryl's Father: The Son of God! What's the matter with you?
- Cheryl David: Dad...
- Larry David: No, I'm just saying, a girl...
- Cheryl David: Larry...
- Larry David: I would worship Jane, if he had a daughter Jane, I could have a relationship with a Jane.
- Cheryl's Father: He didn't have a daughter!
- Larry David: It's a shame it wasn't a girl. That's all I have to say.
- Cheryl's Father: [disgusted] Uh!
- Larry David: Good looking... zaftig... good sense of humor...
- Cheryl David: [exasperated] *Okay*, that's fine.
- Larry David: ...if he had a daughter, everybody, EVERYBODY would worship Jane. That's all I'm saying.
- Cheryl David: [Larry is examining the tags on Cheryl's bra] Larry?
- Larry David: [startled] What?
- Cheryl David: What are you doing? What were you doing?
- Larry David: What? Nothing. I was... your bra was kind of, was about to fall off, and I was... I was putting it back on.
- Cheryl David: Alright, and, I... felt like you were looking at... my size.
- Larry David: Oh! Um...
- [stammers]
- Larry David: yeah... well... I didn't deliberately set out to look at the size, but I was, had the bra in my hand, and it was kind of like, you know, if you have a driver's license, you check out the date of birth. That's all.
- Cheryl David: Ohhhhh-kay...
- Larry David: Just uhh, checked it out.
- Cheryl David: And uhh, what'd ya think?
- Larry David: [stammering] Yeah... uh, OK, it's good.