- Man #2 in Bathroom: [Larry skips a line of men to use a bathroom handicap stall] Hey, whaddya think you're doing?
- Larry David: I'm g-g-g-g-going to the b-b-b-b-ba-ba-bathroom!
- Man #2 in Bathroom: I don't think so, that's a handicap stall.
- Larry David: I have a s-s-s-s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-p-p-p-pricks!
- [All the men in line yell at Larry angrily]
- Larry David: All right, fine, okay.
- [leaves the bathroom]
- Larry David: [about Lesbians] I'm their biggest supporter!
- Marty Funkhouser: You're their biggest supporter?
- Larry David: Yeah.
- Marty Funkhouser: Well, then they're in a lot of trouble.
- Omar Jones: ...Muslims are very forgiving people.
- Larry David: They are?
- Omar Jones: Yes, we are. We're very forgiving.
- Larry David: Wh-what?
- Omar Jones: Well, it's true.
- Larry David: There's a lot of meshugena Muslims out running around, are there not?
- Larry David: [Larry wore a bowtie to a formal dinner party] Excuse me... excuse me! Can you guys keep it down a little bit? We can't hear the waiter, and we're trying to order.
- Loud Man at Party: [incredulously] Keep it *down*?
- Larry David: We're trying to hear the waiter.
- Loud Man at Party: Man, I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here, we're trying... you know what I mean? Not keepin' it down...
- [turning to his table sarcastically]
- Loud Man at Party: I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here.
- Larry David: Hey... um, I think I want to go home. Let's go home.
- Cheryl David: No! We haven't even had dessert yet.
- Larry David: So what? We don't need dessert. Come on.
- Cheryl David: Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert.
- Larry David: Oh, so what? Dessert, it's no big deal, we can just go. Come on.
- Cheryl David: Why do you want to go home?
- Larry David: I need to use the bathroom.
- Cheryl David: [incredulously] So go use the bathroom.
- Larry David: I don't want to use this bathroom. I want my own.
- Cheryl David: Why?
- Larry David: This project demands I get back to my base. I need my base.
- Cheryl David: [exasperated] We're not going home for you to...
- Jeff Greene: What's the matter?
- Cheryl David: Larry wants to go home to use the bathroom. It's like...
- Larry David: Hey Cheryl, what do you, need to tell the whole table? Why don't you get up and make an announcement?
- Jeff Greene: What, like you've never done that with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing in the world.
- Cheryl David: It's ridiculous. He can use THIS bathroom.
- Larry David: You, you're a Gentile, you'd go in the middle of 5th Avenue. It's different for Jews!
- Marty Funkhouser: [referring to his lesbian daughter's new boyfriend] I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." Then I left you.
- Larry David: And I said "Hi", I said "Hello." I said "Hi Dan"...
- Marty Funkhouser: Yeah... yeah... yeah, what else?
- Larry David: You know, little small talk, "how, how you doin', where you from" and all that...
- Marty Funkhouser: That's it?
- Larry David: ...and then what did I say, I said, "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..."
- Marty Funkhouser: Why didn't you just say, "Hello, Dan. I'm Larry. Nice to meet you."
- Larry David: I said that. I said "hi" and then I said that.
- Marty Funkhouser: What is wrong with you?
- Larry David: Problem?
- Marty Funkhouser: Yeah, problem! Now she's back with a woman!
- Larry David: [referring to the lesbian patrons in the restaurant] No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there! They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense.
- Marty Funkhouser: I want to say something else - you left my party before dessert! How can you do that? It's not proper etiquette.
- Larry David: I don't subscribe to the "wait for dessert" rule before you can leave a party.
- Marty Funkhouser: No one cares what you subscribe to, okay? We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago, and I said "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit."