"Clerks" Leonardo Is Caught in the Grip of an Outbreak of Randal's Imagination and Patrick Swayze Either Does or Doesn't Work in the New Pet Store (TV Episode 2001) - James Woods as Major Baklava

Major Baklava : We will need to take a sexual history from both of you. And here to take your sexual his is two giggling girls.

Giggling Girl : Okay, when was the last time you had sex?

Dante Hicks : About a year ago.

Giggling Girl : A year?

[They laugh at Dante]

Dante Hicks : This stinks.

Randal Graves : Shut up. Maybe we can have sex with them.

[the girls gasp]
Major Baklava : Okay then. Other than watching you die, there's really nothing left we can do.
[Dante has just saved the town by claiming to be gay]

Major Baklava : Way to go, you beautiful gay bastard.
Dante Hicks : Look, there is no virus. You're all just victims of the over-active imagination of a pop-culture junkie loudmouth.

Major Baklava : Quentin Tarantino?

James Woods: Major Baklava