Charmed (TV Series)

Charmed Noir (2004)

Rose McGowan: Paige Matthews

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Miss Donovan is crying about the gnome murder] 

  Phoebe Halliwell : Aw, Miss Donovan, ahy are you crying?

  Paige Matthews : One of our teachers. He...

  Phoebe Halliwell : Oh. Did he break your heart? Well you call the right person. I can handle this.

  Paige Matthews : No...

  Phoebe Halliwell : Shhh. Cupid works alone.

  [to Miss Donovan] 

  Phoebe Halliwell : Now did he hurt you? I know, I know, it hurts. But you can't give up on love. It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. Now I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my paper where I play Matchmaker. I actually have one in mind for you.

  Paige Matthews : Wait. He didn't break her heart. He was murdered.

  Phoebe Halliwell : Oh. Why didn't you tell me that?

  Paige Matthews : I tried to but Cupid shushed me.

• Inspector Davis : You're a little heartbreaker, aren't you? A regular femme fatale.

  Paige Matthews : Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just crazy, crazy for cops, tough cops. The kinda cops that'll arrest your heart, make you long for a life sentence with 'em. You know any cops like that?

• Kyle Brody : Oh. What is he?

  Paige Matthews : He is a gnome. And one of my teachers.

  Kyle Brody : Gnome. Great. Now I suppose you're gonna tell me leprechauns and fairies exist now too?

  Paige Matthews : Well, actually, yeah-...

  Kyle Brody : Never mind. I can only take so much at a time.

• Eddie Mullen : It's a flat tire but I don't understand, that's impossible.

  Paige Matthews : What, you can't get a flat tire in your book?

  Eddie Mullen : No. It's too cliché.

• Paige Matthews : Don't worry. Magical things happen to us all the time, but this is the first time in black and white.

• Kyle Brody : You turned me into a felon, you know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft.

  Paige Matthews : It's a fiction story in a fiction world. I highly doubt we're breaking any laws.

  Kyle Brody : It may be a fictional world, but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me.

• Johnny the Gent : Everyone's on edge on account of the falcon.

  Paige Matthews : The falcon, as in the Maltese falcon?

  Eddie Mullen : Nah, everyone knows the Maltese was a fake. This one's the real deal. The Burmese falcon.

  Kyle Brody : Burmese, you can't be serious. It's a total rip off.

• Kyle Brody : Why haven't you left yet?

  Eddie Mullen : I can't. The only way out is to end the story. Can't do that until the falcon's found.

  Paige Matthews : You don't know where it is?

  Eddie Mullen : No. Dan and I laid down the fundamentals at the beginning. The story's got a life of its own now.

• Paige Matthews : Eddie, what's going on?

  Eddie Mullen : I'm sorry to do this to you. Really, I am. But, see, this story can never end.

• Paige Matthews : They're dicks.

  Kyle Brody : [chuckles]  Dicks.

  Paige Matthews : No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe.