Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

The Zeppo (1999)

Charisma Carpenter: Cordelia Chase

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cordelia Chase : It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers, Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires, and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like... Jimmy Olsen.

  Xander Harris : [laughs]  I was just talking to... Hey, mind your own business.

  Cordelia Chase : Ooh, I struck a nerve. The boy that had no cool.

  Xander Harris : I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a *lot* to offer.

  Cordelia Chase : Oh, please.

  Xander Harris : I do.

  Cordelia Chase : "Integral part" of the group? Xander, you're the-the *useless* part of the group. You're the Zeppo. "Cool." Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has and you don't.

  Cordelia Chase : [leaving, talking to herself]  There was no part of that that wasn't fun.

• Xander Harris : Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures Hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?

  Cordelia Chase : Because, unlike all those other creatures that you've come face-to-face with, Jack actually noticed you were there.

  Xander Harris : Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?

• Cordelia Chase : [to Xander]  Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest.

• [last lines] 

  Cordelia Chase : [to Xander]  Ooh, look, it's Mr. Excitement. On another life-or-death doughnut mission or are we just cruising for bimbos again, giving them lessons in lack of cool?

  [Xander just stands with a small smile on his face] 

  Cordelia Chase : What?

  [Xander starts to walk away] 

  Cordelia Chase : What...? *What*?

• Xander Harris : I'll take 2 glazed, 2 cinnamon couple cream-filled and a jelly. No, no. Let's round that out to 4 jellies.

  Cordelia Chase : [entering]  Ooh, is some evil going on? Must be big for them to entrust you with this daredevil mission.

  Xander Harris : Cordelia. Feel free to drop dead of a wasting disease in the next 20 seconds.

  Cordelia Chase : Ooh, again, I strike the nerve. I am the surgeon of mean.