Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Teacher's Pet (1997)

Anthony Head: Rupert Giles

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rupert Giles : Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost, Pre-Germanic language. What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswolds. Then he went hunting for it.

  Buffy Summers : It being...

  Rupert Giles : Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis. This type of creature, the kleptes-virgo, or-or-or virgin-thief, appears in-in many cultures... the Greek sirens, the Celtic sea-maidens, who-who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um...

  Buffy Summers : Giles, while we're young.

• Rupert Giles : Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office. One-One assumes it is entirely legal?

  [Buffy and Willow speak at once] 

  Buffy Summers : Of course.

  Willow Rosenberg : Entirely.

  Rupert Giles : Right. Wasn't here... didn't see it... couldn't have stopped you.

• Buffy Summers : Try looking under things that can turn their heads all the way around.

  Rupert Giles : Nothing human can do that.

  Buffy Summers : No. Nothing human... But, there are some insects that can... Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her.

  Rupert Giles : What are you going to do?

  Buffy Summers : My homework.

• Rupert Giles : That's all he said? "Fork guy"?

  Buffy Summers : That's all cryptic guy said, "fork guy."

  Rupert Giles : I think there are too many guys in your life.

• Rupert Giles : Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth drilled.

• Rupert Giles : You went hunting last night?

  Buffy Summers : Yes.

  Rupert Giles : When you assured me you wouldn't.

  Buffy Summers : Yes. I lied. I'm a bad person. Let's move on.

• Buffy Summers : Any tips on the snuffing part?

  Rupert Giles : Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade.

  Buffy Summers : Slice and dice.

• Buffy Summers : Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around.

  Rupert Giles : Yes. In a straitjacket howling his innards out day and night.

  Buffy Summers : Okay, Admiral. Way to inspire the troops.

• Buffy Summers : Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?

  Rupert Giles : Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a - a common, extremely well-proportioned way.

  Buffy Summers : Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well-Proportioned is heading home. Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover.

  Rupert Giles : He what? Ran away?

  Buffy Summers : He was petrified.

  Rupert Giles : Of Miss French?

  Buffy Summers : Uh-*huh.* So, "I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand. How many things am I afraid of?"

  Rupert Giles : Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule.

• Rupert Giles : Well, basically the she-mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman, and lures innocent virgins back to her nest.

  Buffy Summers : Virgins? Well, Xander's not... a... a... I mean he's probably...

  Willow Rosenberg : [Willow jumps up from the computer and runs out, exclaiming]  He's going to die!

• Buffy Summers : [discussing a sighting of Claw]  So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand. How many things am I afraid of?

  Rupert Giles : Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule.