Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Some Assembly Required (1997)

Anthony Head: Rupert Giles

Photos 

Quotes 

• Xander Harris : Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.

  Rupert Giles : Hear, hear!

  Buffy Summers : Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.

• [giving Giles advice on his pick-up lines] 

  Buffy Summers : You also might want to avoid words like "amenable" and "indecorous," you know? Speak English, not whatever they speak in, uh...

  Rupert Giles : England?

  Buffy Summers : Yeah.

• Buffy Summers : There's something else, though. We found an empty grave.

  Rupert Giles : Another vampire?

  Buffy Summers : No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.

  Rupert Giles : Grave-robbing? That's new. Interesting.

  Buffy Summers : I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.

  Rupert Giles : Yes, yes, yes, of course. A terrible thing. Must-Must put a stop to it. Damn it.

• Rupert Giles : Rugged? American football?

  [chuckles] 

  Jenny Calendar : And that's funny because?

  Rupert Giles : No, no, I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

• [giving Giles advice on his pick up lines] 

  Buffy Summers : You just say, "Hey, I got a thing. You maybe have a thing. Maybe we could have a thing."

  Rupert Giles : Well, thank you, Cyrano.

• Willow Rosenberg : You mean, making a zombie?

  Rupert Giles : Uh, zombies, more likely. For most traditional purposes, a voodoo priest would require more than one.

  Buffy Summers : So, we should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL, too. Maybe we can figure out what this creep has in mind, if we know whether or not he's dealing in volume.

  Xander Harris : So we dig up some graves tonight?

  Willow Rosenberg : Oh, boy! A field trip!

• [Willow asks Cordelia whether she wants to go on the grave-digging adventure] 

  Cordelia Chase : Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you'd be digging up dead people sooner. I would have canceled.

  Xander Harris : All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?

  [Cordelia huffs and leaves the library] 

  Rupert Giles : Xander?

  Xander Harris : Huh?

  Rupert Giles : Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.

  Xander Harris : Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?

• Xander Harris : So this chair-woman? We are talking about Ms Calendar, right?

  Rupert Giles : What makes you think that?

  Xander Harris : Simple deduction. Ms Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in you age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.

  Buffy Summers : And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it up, it all spells "Duh."

• Rupert Giles : Yes, really. What student here is going to be that well versed in physiology?

  Willow Rosenberg : Well, I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And me.

  Xander Harris : So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we'll call it a night.

  [at their looks] 

  Xander Harris : He joked.

• Rupert Giles : Ms Calendar?

  Jenny Calendar : Oh, no, please, call me Jenny. "Ms Calendar" is my mother.

• [practicing pick-up lines] 

  Rupert Giles : W-w-w-what I'm proposing is, um... and I-I don't mean to appear indecorous, is-is, um, a-a-a-a social engagement, um, a-a-a-a date. If you're amenable.

• Cordelia Chase : Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?

  Rupert Giles : There, there.

  [pats her on the back in passing]