Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

School Hard (1997)

Armin Shimerman: Principal Snyder

Quotes 

• Parent : I'm not waiting for them to open the doors. I'm getting out!

  Joyce Summers : Don't be an idiot.

  Principal Snyder : I'm beginning to see a certain mother/daughter resemblance.

• [Principal Snyder and the Police Chief are surveying the school after the vampire attack] 

  Police Chief Bob : I need to say something to the media people.

  Principal Snyder : So?

  Police Chief Bob : So, do you want the usual story? Gang-related? PCP?

  Principal Snyder : What'd you have in mind? The truth?

  Police Chief Bob : Right... Gang-related. PCP.

• [first lines] 

  Principal Snyder : A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner." Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?

  [Sheila and Buffy look at one another] 

  Principal Snyder : Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.

  Sheila Martini : I didn't stab no one with a trowel. They were pruning shears.

  Principal Snyder : On the other hand, Sheila has never burnt down a school building.

  Buffy Summers : Well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said it-it coulda been mice.

  Principal Snyder : Mice.

  Buffy Summers : Mice that were smoking?

  Principal Snyder : The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight-starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.

  Sheila Martini : [smirking]  What does the winner get?

  Principal Snyder : Expelled.

• [trying to keep the principal away from her mother at Parent-Teacher night] 

  Principal Snyder : Was that your mother?

  Buffy Summers : Here.

  [spills lemonade on purpose] 

  Buffy Summers : Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English.

• [Trapped by vampires in a school room] 

  Buffy Summers : You can't go outside. They'll kill you.

  Principal Snyder : You don't tell me. I tell you.

  Buffy Summers : They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until I say so. Do you hear me?

  Principal Snyder : Who do you think you are?

  Buffy Summers : I'm the one that knows how to stop them.