Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Lie to Me (1997)

Jason Behr: Billy 'Ford' Fordham

Photos 

Quotes 

• Billy 'Ford' Fordham : I wanna be like you... A vampire.

  Spike : I've known you for two minutes and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you living forever.

  [to Dru] 

  Spike : Can I eat him now, love?

• Billy 'Ford' Fordham : I'm sorry, Summers. Did I screw up your righteous-anger riff? Does the nest of tumors liquefying my brain kinda spoil the fun?

  Buffy Summers : I'm sorry... I had no idea. But what you're doing is still very wrong.

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : Okay, well, you try vomiting for twenty-four hours straight because the pain in your head is so intense, and then... we'll discuss the concept of right and wrong... These people are sheep. They wanna be vampires 'cause they're lonely... miserable or bored. I don't have a choice.

  Buffy Summers : You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice. You're opting for mass murder here, and nothing you say is gonna make that okay.

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : You think I need to justify myself to you?

  Buffy Summers : I think this is all part of your little fantasy drama! Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you. And if those vampires come in here and start feeding, I'll kill you myself!

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : You know what, Summers? I really did miss you.

• Willow Rosenberg : So you two were sweeties in fifth grade?

  Buffy Summers : Not even! Ford wouldn't give me the time of day.

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : Well, I was a manly sixth-grader. Couldn't be bothered with someone that young.

  Buffy Summers : It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divnyls song "I Touch Myself"...

  Buffy Summers : [realizes what she said, turns sheepishly to Willow and Xander]  Of course, I had no idea what it was about.

• Billy 'Ford' Fordham : You can't touch me, Summers. I know all your darkest secrets.

  Xander Harris : Care to make a small wager on that?

• Buffy Summers : Well, I've got a news flash for you, brain trust. That's not how it works. You die and a demon sets up shop in your old house. And it walks and it talks and it remembers your life, but it's not you.

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : It's better than nothing.

  Buffy Summers : And your life is nothing? Ford, these people don't deserve to die!

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration, 'cause I'm still dying.

• [walks up behind Buffy, who has just slain a vampire] 

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : What's going on?

  Buffy Summers : Um... Uh, there was a-a cat... A cat here. And, um, then there was a-another cat. And they fought. The cats. And... then they left.

  Billy 'Ford' Fordham : Oh. I thought you were just slaying a vampire.

  Buffy Summers : What? Whating a what?