- Tara Maclay: Oh, do you have any books on robots?
- Rupert Giles: Oh, yes. Dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before- No, I'm lying. I haven't got squat. I just like to see Xander squirm.
- Rupert Giles: We are not your friends. We are not your way to Buffy... There is no way to Buffy... Clear out of here. And Spike, this thing... get over it.
- Spike: I don't know what you mean.
- Rupert Giles: Yes, you do. Move the hell on.
- [last lines]
- [Buffy enters her house, sees a bouquet of flowers and a note for her mom]
- Buffy Summers: Hey, flower-gettin' lady, want me to pick Dawn up from school?
- [sees her mom lying on the couch]
- Buffy Summers: Mom? What are you doing?
- [moves closer to see her lying still with her eyes open and fixed]
- Buffy Summers: [quieter] Mom...? Mom...? Mommy?
- Rupert Giles: Dear God, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're gonna have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it-it's not fair on her.
- Buffy Summers: What'd she make you do?
- Rupert Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.
- Buffy Summers: [laughing] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my fun-time Buffy party night involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window. So if you wanna trade... No, wait. I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.
- Xander Harris: Robots are the strangest people.
- Buffy Summers: No... *People* are the strangest people. I mean, look at me obsessing about being with someone. It's, like... I don't need a guy right now. I need me. I need to get comfortable being alone with Buffy.
- Xander Harris: Well, I'll say this. She's a pretty cool person to be alone with.
- Joyce Summers: Buffy, what do you think? Should I, you know, try to make things romantic, or sorta let him set the pace?
- Buffy Summers: Oh, no. Love Doctor Buffy is not in. I am not qualified to give dating advice. I've had exactly two boyfriends and they both left. Really left. Left town left.
- Rupert Giles: And you're certain she was a robot?
- Buffy Summers: Absolutely.
- Tara Maclay: She practically had "Genuine Molded Plastic" stamped on her ass.
- Buffy Summers: I feel gross, you know? Like, like dirty.
- Rupert Giles: That's rediculous. You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels.
- Buffy Summers: Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, "Woof, that's the *one* for me."
- Xander Harris: She's a "sexbot." I mean, what guy doesn't dream about that? Beautiful girl with no other thought but to please you... willing to do anything.
- [stops and sees Buffy, Willow and Anya giving him looks]
- Xander Harris: Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd get it.
- Buffy Summers: I just... I just wanna know that there's gonna be another good one, one that I won't chase away.
- Xander Harris: There will be, promise. he's out there. He can come along any minute.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah, and the minute *after* that, I can *terrify* him with my alarming strength and remarkable self-involvement.
- Buffy Summers: Ow. I don't know about you guys, but I've about had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.
- Buffy Summers: See, that's my secret to attracting men. You know, it's simple, really. You slap 'em around a bit. You torture 'em. You make their lives a living hell, and...
- Xander Harris: Buff...
- Buffy Summers: Sure, the nice guys, they'll run away, but every now and then, you'll come across a real prince of a guy like Spike who gets off on it.
- [first lines]
- Buffy Summers: Spike! Spike wants me. How obscene is that?
- Rupert Giles: Well, it is very strange. I mean, I can't imagine what he's thinking. Well, uh, not-not that you're not a-a-attractive.
- Joyce Summers: So, is anyone gonna talk about my dress?
- Dawn Summers: I like it.
- Joyce Summers: You sure? I mean, it's not too Mom-ish?
- Dawn Summers: Oh. That was why I liked it.
- Buffy Summers: You're both crazy. It's not Mom-ish at all. It's sexy. It screams, "Randy sex kitten. Buy me one drink, and I'll-". Oh, wait, that's not really good, either.
- [Xander is in a large, padded suit that Buffy has been furiously punching while training]
- Rupert Giles: Buffy, I think you should calm down.
- Xander Harris: Me, too.
- Buffy Summers: Oh, Puffy Xander. Um, I'm sorry. I got, I guess I got carried away. Are you okay?
- Xander Harris: I'm alive. I can tell 'cause of the pain.