Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)
Go Fish (1998)
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy Summers
Photos
Quotes
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Willow Rosenberg : So we're lookin' for a beastie.
Rupert Giles : That, uh, eats humans whole... Except for the skin.
Buffy Summers : This doesn't make any sense.
Xander Harris : Yeah, the skin's the best part.
Buffy Summers : Any demons with high cholesterol?
[Giles looks at her thoroughly un-amused]
Buffy Summers : You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh.
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Gage Petronzi : What a psycho bitch! Man!
Angelus : [approching] Gotta be talking about Buffy.
Gage Petronzi : How'd you know?
Angelus : Uh, she and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life.
Gage Petronzi : Yeah. My condolences, dude.
Angelus : She's a real head-tripper.
Gage Petronzi : Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's God's gift or something.
Angelus : Who is she? The Chosen One?
Gage Petronzi : Exactly.
Angelus : You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down off her notches.
Gage Petronzi : Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind?
Angelus : You're in luck, my friend... Just so happens, I'm recruiting.
[Gage see Angelus' vampire face]
Gage Petronzi : No!
[Buffy strolls out of the Bronze and hears Gage's screams as Angelus is feeding]
Gage Petronzi : Ah! Somebody! Help! Ah! Help! Ah! Ah! Get him off me! Help! Ah!
[She rushes to his aid. Cut to Angelus. He drops Gage and begins to spit out his blood. He wipes his mouth and spits some more. Buffy comes running around the corner, and just as he looks up she does a roundhouse kick to his face. He isn't fazed and just looks at her. She pulls out the stick holding her hair up and holds it ready to stake him as her hair falls down around her face]
Angelus : Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful!
[He quickly bends down, picks Gage up and throws him at her, knocking her to the pavement. He spits a few more times and leaves smiling. Buffy scrambles to her feet and watches him go. Gage gets up also and rubs his neck]
Gage Petronzi : Oh. Was that the thing that killed Cameron?
Buffy Summers : No. That was something else.
Buffy Summers : S-Something else?
Buffy Summers : Yeah. Unfortunately, we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night.
[starts to leave]
Gage Petronzi : Hey!
[Buffy pauses]
Gage Petronzi : Walk me home?
[She motions for him to follow, and they leave]
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[Buffy has been thrown into a sewer system containing growling monsters]
Buffy Summers : Great. This is just what my reputation needs. That I did it with the entire swim team.
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Buffy Summers : Tell me what's in the steam!
Coach Carl Marin : After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came into light detailing experiments with fish DNA on their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon... mako shark... But they couldn't crack it.
Buffy Summers : And you did... sort of... Why?
Coach Carl Marin : What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the State Championship?
Buffy Summers : Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not gonna be any swim team.
Coach Carl Marin : Boy, when they were handing' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did ya?
Buffy Summers : No. I was in the line for shred of sanity.
[the Coach pulls out a pistol and points it at Buffy]
Buffy Summers : Which you obviously skipped.
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[last lines]
Rupert Giles : The... The people from Animal Control have just left. Our creatures have apparently made a-a dash for it. Um, so to speak.
Willow Rosenberg : Does that mean we're gonna have to hunt them again?
Buffy Summers : No, I don't think so. And I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore.
Rupert Giles : Where do you think they'll go?
Buffy Summers : Home.
[Cut to the ocean, where large waves are rolling in. The three monsters are in the surf and begin to swim out to sea]
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Cordelia Chase : So he spit it out? I thought Angel liked blood.
Buffy Summers : He used to.
Willow Rosenberg : Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach.
Buffy Summers : Or maybe there was something in Gage's blood that Angel didn't like. Say, for example, steroids.
Willow Rosenberg : That would explain all their behavioral changes.
Cordelia Chase : And their winning streak.
Willow Rosenberg : So maybe whatever's in their blood is what's attracting this creature to them.
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Buffy Summers : I think we better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.
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Xander Harris : ...Well, turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turn twenty.
Cordelia Chase : ...I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me. And you don't have to join the new team next year, if you don't want. I'd be just as happy if you played football.
[She smiles, but Xander is clearly not amused]
Buffy Summers : [DELETED LINE, to Cordy] You're not the only one he's proven himself to. In fact... You keep playing your cards right, Xander, and I think *our* team's gonna start having you call the shots instead of me.
[Clearly, Xander finds this even less amusing]
Xander Harris : [DELETED LINE] Me? Call the shots? Instead of you?
[winces at the idea]
Xander Harris : I'd rather be a fish.
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Buffy Summers : Well, um... it's a little embarrassing. You see... I'm a swim groupie.
Gage Petronzi : A-ha!
Buffy Summers : Oh, yeah! You know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby!
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[watching Coach Marin being devoured by his 'team']
Buffy Summers : Those boys really love their coach.
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Willow Rosenberg : Oh, I'll talk to Nurse Greenliegh.
Buffy Summers : You're really getting into this interrogation thing.
Willow Rosenberg : The trick is not to leave any marks.
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Willow Rosenberg : There. Dodd McAlvy: torn tendon. Gage Petronzi: fractured wrist, depression, headaches.
Buffy Summers : It's all there in the school medical records.
Willow Rosenberg : All symptomatic of steroid abuse.
Xander Harris : But is steroid abuse usually linked with "Hey, I'm a fish"?
