- Dr. Theopolis: Buck, I don't understand what Colonel Deering is up to.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Wilma is setting herself up as a target no self-respecting thief or kidnapper can pass up. Well, Theo, when you put out the honey, you draw as many flies as you do bees sometimes.
- Dr. Theopolis: I wish you would refrain from using such antiquated verbiage, Buck. It makes it so difficult to follow you sometimes.
- Twiki: Not so fast, bub.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: What do you got, Twiki?
- Dr. Theopolis: Five pictorial units of the same subset, presented sequentially.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: A royal flush.
- Twiki: Come to Papa.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: It's like losing to a typewriter.
- Twiki: Watch it, bub.
- Miss Cosmos: Oh, you'll have to excuse me for staring. I've never met a 500-year-old man before.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: That's all right. I've never met a genetically perfect woman before either.
- Miss Cosmos: Mmm. Think of the permutations.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: I'd love to think of the permutations. Maybe later, after we're sure the danger's over.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: How am I supposed to eat with this thing?
- Dr. Theopolis: Just point it at the food, Buck, and activate the switch at the base of the fork. A null gravity fork, the latest word in dining accoutrements.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: It's great if you like your food on the hoof.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Where's your girlfriend, Twiki? I thought you two had a date.
- Twiki: She gets off work at 10:00.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: What's her name again?
- Dr. Theopolis: Her name is Tina, and I think her interest in Twiki is purely physical.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Physical?
- Twiki: You'd better believe it.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Physical, huh?
- Tina: [chirping] Something from the bar, sir?
- Twiki: [chirping] Hold the phone.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Nothing for me, thanks.
- [Twiki and Tina converse with each other]
- Dr. Theopolis: Twiki? Twiki, where are you going?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: [smiles] Don't ask.
- Twiki: Hi, guys.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: What's the matter, Twiki? It's only 0300 hours.
- Twiki: I'm bushed.
- Dr. Theopolis: Now just a minute, Twiki. If you think you're going to retire for the evening without hearing from me, you are quite incorrect. Your behavior even since you set foot on this ship has been abominable.
- [Twiki powers down]
- Dr. Theopolis: Twiki? Twiki? Twiki? Twiki!
- Miss Cosmos: I owe Buck my life. I'll never be able to repay him.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Oh, we'll work something out.
- [smiles, and then they both chuckle]
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Miss Cosmos? A beauty pageant winner? I can't believe people still go in for that sort of thing.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Well, beauty contests are much more sophisticated than they used to be. It's what *inside* that counts.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Hmm.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Literally.
- Dr. Elias Huer: Oh, yes, indeed. Genetically speaking, Miss Cosmos is closer than anyone to the perfect example of the female human in this quadrant.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: What do Miss Cosmos and the Lyran Queen have to do with your job?
- Dr. Elias Huer: Oh, well... Someone tried to rob or kidnap her yesterday. A woman, actually, with extraordinary powers. We haven't as yet been able to establish a positive identification for the suspect, but we believe it to be one of a pair of notorious thieves which up to now has specialized in inanimate objects of great value, but... now has turned to...
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Bodies.
- Dr. Elias Huer: Bodies, exactly. And in this particular case, a body of staggering genetic value.
- [Buck nods]
- Dr. Elias Huer: Under the circumstances, the stellar authorities have asked for our help, because their agents are too well known.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: [sighs:] Huh! Would you like me to intercept that cruise ship and look after Miss Cosmos for you?
- [smiles]
- Dr. Elias Huer: [obviously going just as he and Wilma rehearsed] Well, that would be very good of you, Buck.
- [Wilma smiles]
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: And after all, the prospect of meeting the... *perfect* woman is fascinating.
- Dr. Elias Huer: Yeah, I would think so.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Gmph...
- Dr. Elias Huer: Well, you'll be in charge of general security, of course. You know, the mere fact that you're not one of us makes you less suspect.
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Wilma, I'm gonna need your help.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: How can I refuse?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Well, I warn you, I play a very mean game of shuffleboard.
- Colonel Wilma Deering: Huh?
- Dr. Elias Huer: Shuffleboard?
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Well...
- [sighs]
- Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: another... tribal custom bites the dust.