- Cory Matthews: Forty years from now, I can say with total confidence, a man will walk on the moon, pizza will have cheese baked right into the crust and men and women will be equal partners in the workplace and in their relationships.
- Jonathan Turner: [laughs] What an imagination. Tell us more about that pizza.
- Cory Matthews: Shawnzie?
- Shawn Hunter: [uncomfortable] Yessy?
- Cory Matthews: You're always there for me aren't ya?
- Shawn Hunter: [Puts up his thumb] Hey.
- Anson Williams: You know, when I was down in the dumps, my parents used to say... Come to think of it I didn't have parents. Not even a house. I hung out at other people's houses. Not bad, really.
- Cory Matthews: Wait a minute. It's 1957! There is no micro wave!
- Wise Man: Oopsie.
- Cory Matthews: What kind of wise man says "oopsie"?
- Wise Man: What do you want me to say? "Wax on, wax off"?
- George Feeny: Shawnzie Hunterelli, I warned you that your next shenanigan would be your last.
- Cory Matthews: Uh, it wasn't him. It was me.
- George Feeny: Ah, a new student trying to make a name for himself eh? And that name is?
- Shawnzie Hunterelli: He doesn't know you. Be smart. Make one up.
- Cory Matthews: My name is, uh, Brad Pitt, sir.
- George Feeny: Well, Mr. Pittsir. If you want to keep your nose clean around here, I suggest you that steer clear of bad apples like this Johnny Rottenseed.
- Shawnzie Hunterelli: If I was the type of guy that said thank you, I would.
- Cory Matthews: You're welcome.
- Shawnzie Hunterelli: But I'm not that type of guy.
- Jonathan Turner: The atomic bomb falls. We see a brilliant flash. Now, what do we do?
- Students: We duck and cover.
- Jonathan Turner: Correct. Here we go. Flash!
- [Everyone but Cory ducks underneath your desk]
- Jonathan Turner: You're dead, Brad.
- Cory Matthews: Mr Turner, you're telling me that if the atomic bomb falls I'll be safe if I go like this?
- [Covers his head with his arms]
- Jonathan Turner: No, no, no.
- [Shows what he's saying]
- Jonathan Turner: You gotta drop to the ground, duck under desk, curl up, cover neck.
- Cory Matthews: And kiss your butt goodbye.
- [the students laugh and Mr. Turner stands up angrily]
- Jonathan Turner: Alright. Who said that? Who said... utt-bay?
- Shawnzie Hunterelli: I did, Mr. Turner. I said "butt"!
- Eli Williams: Matthews, just the man we want to see.
- Cory Matthews: Don't you guys get enough of me at school?
- Jonathan Turner: Yeah, more than. How would you like to help a couple teachers hand out some fliers?
- Cory Matthews: I wouldn't.
- Eli Williams: Alright. Thanks a lot.
- [They both hand him their stacks of fliers and walk off]
- Cory Matthews: This year's spring dance is a fifties sock hop. Like anyone would want to go to this. Topanga, you want to go to this?
- Topanga Lawrence: No.
- Cory Matthews: Of course not. It's me, right? Just because we're not going out anymore, you don't want to go out anymore. What's that about?
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, it's about a decision we made to just be friends and I don't think we should complicate that.
- Cory Matthews: Topanga, it's a dance. In socks. What's complicated about that?
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, you're the one who broke up with me. Don't you understand that?
- Cory Matthews: Of course I do! I know exactly where we stand. And if you're not careful I'll break up with you again.
- Jonathan Turner: Alright guys, I heard a bell. That means get in the class now!
- [No one moves]
- Jonathan Turner: Come on. It's my first day. You're gonna make me look bad.
- George Feeny: Young lady, your hair is far too high. A clear violation of school policy, and a hazard to all low-flying aircraft.
- T.L.: If I see an aeroplane, I'll duck. Alright?
- Cory Matthews: Dad!
- Anson Williams: No. Anson Williams.
- Cory Matthews: Wait a minute. You're...
- Anson Williams: [angry] No! Anson Williams. Like I said I was. Anson Williams? Not who you think I was. Let's just drop it, alright?
- Morgan: Oh, daddy dearest.
- Mr. B: Yes, snowflake?
- Morgan: There's something you gotta see!
- [She shows Mr. B a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of Cory and headline that says, "Curly-headed Spy On The Lam". Everyone stares at Cory]
- Cory Matthews: It's not true!
- Mr. B: Of course it's not!
- [He picks up the phone]
- Mr. B: FBI? J. Edgar Hoover please. J. Edgar! Tom. Yeah, I'm here with Anson Williams and the russian spy. Uh, ixnay on the otsie pay.
- Morgan: You're going to jail, spy!
- Mr. B: Now, now Morgan. He may be a russian spy but until they come and haul him off, he's still our guest.
- Natasha: Do you have the papers?
- Cory Matthews: Papers?
- Boris: On the American Space Program!
- Cory Matthews: What? You mean my term paper? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why you guys talking like Boris and Natasha?
- Natasha: Ah, good. He knows our secret code names.
- Natasha: You need to be strong for when they savagely torture you.
- Boris: And, if they don't, of course our people will.
- Cory Matthews: I'm not seeing any upside here.