Boy Meets World (TV Series)

Grandma Was a Rolling Stone (1993)

William Daniels: George Feeny

Quotes 

• George Feeny : Mr. Matthews, just the man I wanted to see.

  Eric Matthews : Mr. Feeny?

  George Feeny : Let me ask you - if one were entertaining a young woman, a young girl your age, um, how would he go about it?

  Eric Matthews : Mr. Feeny, you dating a teenage girl?

  George Feeny : Not since the Eisenhower administration. No, my niece is visiting for a few days. She's your age. She'll need to be entertained and I thought that maybe you could help me out.

  Eric Matthews : Look, I'd love to meet your niece, Mr. Feeny. But, see, I got this really bad case of strep throat.

  [begins to speak hoarsely as he backs out away] 

  Eric Matthews : It's spreading down my lungs and into my pancreas, so as you can see, I'm - I'm completely strep.

  George Feeny : Relax. I'm merely curious as to how a contemporary teenage girl entertains herself.

  Eric Matthews : [drops the act]  Oh, OK. Well, it's my experience that if they can't find a senior with a car they'll settle for some gullible sophomore who's willing to empty his pockets on a dinner he can't really afford, a movie he doesn't want to see, and a door slammed in his face.

  George Feeny : Somewhere in that brimming cup of bile I heard dinner and a movie?

  Eric Matthews : Yeah, see, dinner and a movie is the premier form of dating entertainment. Dinner, movie. Movie, dinner. Dinner, dinner, movie, movie.

  George Feeny : A wonderfully rich tapestry of human experience.

  Eric Matthews : Don't mock what I am, Mr. Feeny.

• [after an altercation with Cory's grandma] 

  George Feeny : Who is that woman?

  Cory Matthews : My grandma. Don't you just love her?

  George Feeny : No. No, I don't.

• Jessica : [Eric has been using Morgan to meet girls and Jessica is the latest girl]  Is this your little sister?

  Eric Matthews : That she is.

  Morgan Matthews : I love Eric.

  George Feeny : Oh, please, Jessica you couldn't possibly fall for this line of...

  Jessica : She is so cute.

  George Feeny : And so well-rehearsed!

  Morgan Matthews : Eric's taking me to the carnival today.

  Eric Matthews : When did I say that?

  George Feeny : [chuckling]  Looks like your parrot has learned a few new words.

  Morgan Matthews : Do you want to come with us?

  Eric Matthews : Oh, with us. To the carnival with us, yes. Please come with us?

  Jessica : Well, if that's okay with you, Uncle George.

  George Feeny : Well, I think the polite thing would be to extend an invitation for me to join you.

  Eric Matthews : [through his teeth, while smiling]  Mr. Feeny, would you like to come to the carnival with us?

  George Feeny : Oh, thank you so very much for asking but no. I'd rather have gum surgery.