Bottom (TV Series)

'S Out (1995)

Adrian Edmondson: Eddie

Photos 

Quotes 

• [sitting round campfire] 

  Richie : What was that film where they ate each other?

  Eddie : 'Deep Throat', wasn't it?

• Richie : I'm still not asleep you know. You know, I think it's this sleeping bag. It's letting in a draft.

  Eddie : [Pointing to himself not having a sleeping bag at all]  Oh my heart bleeds!

• Richie : Eddie, are you carrying a torch for her?

  Eddie : [looks down]  No it's just the way my trousers rubbed up

• Richie : Are you sure you didn't sneak a quick peek at my underpants while I was getting into my sleeping bag?

  Eddie : Absolutely, Richie. I give you my word of honour, I didn't get even the slightest glimpse of your gaudily-stained loveblob containers.

• Richie : Listen, Eddie. I think there's something outside!

  Eddie : Yeah, well, there's bound to be something outside, Richie. You can't expect the universe and its entire contents to be contained within the confines of a small canvas tent.

  Richie : You're very philosophical for this time of night, Eddie.

  Eddie : Yeah, well, I've had half a bottle of Scotch, what'd you expect?

• Richie : Eddie, Eddie. What are you reading, Eddie?

  Eddie : I don't know, I'm too drunk to focus.

• [In the park] 

  Richie : Yes, this looks like a good spot, a natural sort of, er...

  Eddie : Shithole?

• [while camping in the park] 

  Richie : Come on, Eddie! We don't need birds! Besides, if we don't do it, we'll lose that bet with Mad Ken Stalin that we can live rough in the country for a week. And we haven't got fifty quid, and I'd rather hang on to my kneecaps if it's all the same with you.

  Eddie : A WEEK?

  Richie : Ah, er, yes, I... I was hoping to break that to you on a more opportune moment...

  Eddie : A BLOODY WEEK?

  Richie : Yeah, well I wasn't the one who got drunk and bet him he couldn't stick a dart in his temple! Once he'd done that, he had us over a barrel.

  Eddie : But I've only got enough underwear for tonight!

  Richie : That's all you've ever had!

  Eddie : That's true!

• Richie : [talking about the Wombles]  Eddie would it mentally scar you if I told you there were just puppets?

  Eddie : Yes it would actually.

  Richie : Good

  [evil grin] 

  Richie : . Eddie they were just puppets!

  Eddie : [points with the stick]  Well what's that then?

  Richie : [yells]  That Eddie, is a hedgehog.

  Richie : No it's not! That is Great Uncle Bulgaria.

  Richie : Well the series has taken a sad turn for the worst then because he's running about in the nude.

  Eddie : [perverted grin]  Cor! The wombles have got x-rated!

• [while camping in the park, Richie has put up a very small tent] 

  Eddie : Right, well that's the toilet tent. Where do we sleep?

  Richie : Oh, hahahahahahaha, look out everybody, I'm about to blow my trousers off in merriment at Eddie's sarcasm!

  Eddie : Well, you mean that's the whole tent?

  Richie : Eddie, this isn't just a tent. This is a World Ranger Stormbuster 4. You can go anywhere in that.

  Eddie : Yeah, and we probably will as soon as the breeze gets up.

  Richie : Hey, hey, don't knock it! You'll be glad with this when the bomb drops.

  Eddie : What? You think that's gonna withstand a twenty megaton nuclear blast?

  Richie : Well, you'll be sleeping in it tonight, so we'll find out, won't we?

• Richie : Here we are! It's a natural sort of...

  Eddie : Shithole.

• Richie : Oh, this is great, isn't it?

  Eddie : What?

  Richie : [Gestures around him]  This.

  Eddie : No.

  Richie : You poor, sad, deformed, urban pustule. This is real life. Nature, struggle, destiny, where's your romance?

  Eddie : Well, she works in SKetchley on a Saturday afternoon, I should be going out with her tonight.

  [Check his watch] 

  Eddie : That's a point, if I nip off now, I can just get to the chemist before they shut.

  Richie : You stay where you are, Judas! Where's your sense of adventure?

  Eddie : Ah now, she's in Chiswick!

  Richie : No, I mean, where's your spunk? No! No! Let's avoid that line of questioning, shall we?