Jason Alexander: Bob Patterson

Quotes 

• Bob Patterson : Look at that, would-would you look at that?

  Landau : What's wrong? I'm seeing magic. Magic is happening.

  [looking at a video of Bob and John Tesh on a beach together talking] 

  Bob Patterson : Would you look at the two of us together? It's like John Tesh took his nephew to the beach!

  Landau : Fine, if it bothers you I'll talk to the production guy; there's tricks they can do.

  Bob Patterson : Tricks? Wha-what kind of tricks?

  Landau : Tricks! I don't know, you saw "The Matrix."

  Bob Patterson : "The Matrix"? I don't want to jump over Tesh; I just don't wanna look like I'm giving him a Lewinski.

• Janet : Forget about Paolo. That part of my life is over. I don't need that kind of unbridled sexual experimentation anymore. I've gotten to a special place. I am no longer having sex.

  Bob Patterson : That's not so special. I live in that place.

  Janet : Oh, Bob, I mean by choice. I am celibate.

  Bob Patterson : You're celibate? So, you came back here to not have sex? Yay for me.

• Maria : Mister Patterson, can I speak to you for a moment?

  Bob Patterson : Maria, it-it-it's not the best time...

  Maria : Oh, look, I got water all over the front of my shirt.

  [rubbing it] 

  Bob Patterson : Maybe just for a minute.