- [the shop has been robbed]
- Bernard: So, what did you tell them? They got in through the back?
- Manny: Yeah.
- Bernard: Yeah, it wouldn't do to let them know that we went out and you left the front door open, would it?
- Manny: Yeah, well, what sort of world is it that you can't go away and leave the front door open without getting robbed?
- Bernard: It's this sort of world, Gandalf!
- [When working in a fast food restaurant]
- Bernard: Hello. Welcome to... the thing. Whatever this place is.
- Security Man: This is a really good security system. You know the CIA?
- Manny: Yeah.
- Security Man: Well, they don't use this stuff. They've probably got something a lot better.
- Bernard: We're trying something new - absinthe. You know that one? The slogan "The drink that makes you want to kill yourself instantly".
- Fran: He confuses me. I'm not attracted to him at all but he has this voice that just... DOES things to me.