Blackadder (TV Series)

The Queen of Spain's Beard (1983)

Rowan Atkinson: Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Baldrick : My Lord...

  Prince Edmund : What?

  Baldrick : I also have a plan.

  Prince Edmund : Yes?

  Baldrick : Why not make her think you prefer the company of men?

  Prince Edmund : But I do, Baldrick, I do!

  Baldrick : No, no, My Lord. I mean, erm, the, er, *intimate* company of men...?

  Prince Edmund : You don't mean... like the Earle of Doncaster...?

  Baldrick : I mean just like the Earle of Doncaster.

  Prince Edmund : That great radish? That steaming great left-footer? The Earle of Doncaster, Baldrick, has been riding side-saddle since he was seventeen.

  Baldrick : Mm! And who would want to marry the Earle of Doncaster?

  Prince Edmund : Well, no-one wou -

  [realises] 

  Prince Edmund : Brilliant! Of course! No-one would marry the Earle of Doncaster!... except, perhaps, the Duke of Beaufort.

• Baldrick : [as Edmund and Percy are dressing him up to sneak into the Infanta's room]  Please my lord, I beg you to reconsider...

  Prince Edmund : Baldrick, if there was any other way, you know I'd take it!

  Baldrick : But I'll die in there!

  [meaning the room that Infanta is in] 

  Prince Edmund : Don't worry. We'll give you a hero's funeral, bury you at sea, say you died in combat, with an enemy vessel.

• Prince Edmund : So let me get this straight. You're saying that something which you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else which you have never seen?

• Prince Edmund : My God! In twenty four hours I'll be married to a walrus!

• Prince Edmund : [reading to Princess Leia]  "And so it came to pass that the big bear had to leave all his friends, and go to live in a land far away where the elves and faries would look after him until the day that he died."

  [Edmund closes the book, Princess Leia yawns] 

  Princess Leia of Hungary : Oh that was lovely Edmund. What a happy story.

  [Edmund looks unhappy] 

  Princess Leia of Hungary : Isn't it time to put the light out?

  Prince Edmund : Yes my dear, I think it is. It must be at least... six o' clock.

  [Edmund blows the candle out and the credits roll] 

• Prince Edmund : As my tutor, old bubble face, used to say: "make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease."

• Infanta Maria Escalosa of Spain : Mi Amor! Mi Amor!

  [Starts kissing Blackadder] 

  The Queen : Look at the two love birds!

  Prince Edmund : One love bird and one love elephant.

• King Richard IV : [clapping his hands]  Where is she? Where is she? Where is Princess Leia?

  [Edmund eyes the four beautiful ladies in the room and waits patiently. Princess Leia enters] 

  King Richard IV : Ah, good. Good!

  [to Edmund, who is surprised to see that Princess Leia is a child] 

  King Richard IV : Husband, meet your new wife.

  Princess Leia of Hungary : [very pleased]  Hello Edmund.

  Prince Edmund : [looking displeased]  Hello.

  Princess Leia of Hungary : [suddenly looking displeased]  Are we getting married now?

  Prince Edmund : [slightly happier]  Yes. Yes, I believe we are.

  Princess Leia of Hungary : Come on then.

  [Princess Leia takes Edmund's hand] 

• [last lines] 

  Princess Leia of Hungary : Can I have a drink of water please?

  Prince Edmund : [almost whispering]  Yes, yes, yes! All right!

• Harry, Prince of Wales : I wanted to have a word with you about my speech at the wedding feast. I thought perhaps I'd go for a fruit motif.

  Prince Edmund : Yes...?

  Harry, Prince of Wales : Something like, er, "It is with extrawberry pleasure that we welcome you, er, may you be the apple of your husband's eye, and may he, in turn, cherries you..." - 'Cherish', you see - "... even though it's an oranged marriage." Good, eh?

  Prince Edmund : Brilliant. Quite, quite brilliant.

  Harry, Prince of Wales : Yes, I thought it was rather good. I'm hoping to squeeze in a 'banana' by the end of the day.