Bewitched (TV Series)
Open the Door, Witchcraft (1965)
George Tobias: Abner Kravitz
Quotes
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Gladys Kravitz : Notice I didn't say one word about her being strange.
Abner Kravitz : I'm glad you didn't. She isn't. He is.
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Abner Kravitz : [Mrs. Kravitz wheels her shopping trolley through the glass of an Out Of Order door] Are you alright?
Gladys Kravitz : I think so.
Abner Kravitz : Didn't you read the sign? This door is "Out Of Order".
Gladys Kravitz : Not for Samantha Stephens, it isn't. How is that, Abner? Tell me. Please explain it to me!
Abner Kravitz : I'll explain it to you. You're out of order!
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Gladys Kravitz : [Samantha twitches her nose to open her garage door] Abner, did you see that? She opened the garage door.
Abner Kravitz : So what do you want me to do? Applaud?
Gladys Kravitz : No, no, she opened it, no hands, nothing! She just sat there!
Abner Kravitz : Why don't you stop. They probably got an electric door like they demonstrated down at the market.
Gladys Kravitz : I don't believe it. She opens doors without electricity. Somebody ought to tell the electric company. They're loosing a bundle.
Abner Kravitz : I'm loosing a bundle on you. I have to pay for a glass door. Eye glasses, lessons on how to read would be cheaper.
Gladys Kravitz : All right. Go ahead and joke. I'm telling you, she's strange.
Abner Kravitz : She's strange? You're strange?
Gladys Kravitz : So prove it!
Abner Kravitz : Prove you're strange?
Gladys Kravitz : Prove they've got an electric door!
Abner Kravitz : How?
Gladys Kravitz : Go over and ask them!
Abner Kravitz : I will. Tonight I'll go.
Gladys Kravitz : Why do you have to wait until tonight?
Abner Kravitz : Because if I have to look like an idiot, I'd rather do it in the dark!
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Gladys Kravitz : [Abner is playing his flute] Shh... They'll hear you?
Abner Kravitz : Well, I've got nothing to hide.
Gladys Kravitz : I do. I don't want them peaking over here, while I'm spying on them. So don't play.
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Abner Kravitz : I wanted to ask you about your door.
Darrin Stephens : Our door?
Abner Kravitz : Pretty nice. I've been thinking of getting one too. You recommend it?
Darrin Stephens : Why, no house should be without one.
Abner Kravitz : Wait a minute. I'm not talking about this door. I was talking about your garage door.
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Gladys Kravitz : Look for yourself. I never saw anything like it.
Abner Kravitz : Stop pushing. I know that when I turn my head to look... there will be nothing there.
Gladys Kravitz : Stop talking. Get up on that thing and look.
Abner Kravitz : Like I said, there's nothing there.
Gladys Kravitz : What? But I saw it.
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Gladys Kravitz : Abner, they just came out of the house. They're getting into the car.
Abner Kravitz : Who?
Gladys Kravitz : The Stephens.
Abner Kravitz : You interrupted Johann Sebastian Bach to deliver that startling bulletin?
Gladys Kravitz : I think they're going out together.
Abner Kravitz : Well, that's nice. They're married.
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Abner Kravitz : Should I go back to Bach, or would you rather hear "Cheek to Cheek"? What would you like, Gladys? Make a request.
Gladys Kravitz : Don't play.
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Gladys Kravitz : Could you explain something to me?
Abner Kravitz : If it's about why we got married, no.
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Gladys Kravitz : What are they doing in there?
Abner Kravitz : Inhaling carbon monoxide, maybe. How do I know?