- Endora: [about being a witch] We are quicksilver, a fleeting shadow, a distant sound... our home has no boundaries beyond which we cannot pass. We live in music, in a flash of color... we live on the wind and in the sparkle of a star!
- Gladys Kravitz: [looking out the window] There are two of them, Abner. Both women, one older. Maybe a sister, maybe a mother. Come take a look, Abner.
- Abner Kravitz: Leave me alone. I'm retired.
- Abner Kravitz: [working on a crossword puzzle] What's a five-letter word for the ultimate happiness, peace and tranquility?
- [thinks about it, then writes and says]
- Abner Kravitz: Death.
- Darrin Stephens: I love your hair. Always feels so soft, smells so good.
- [kisses her hair and some gets in his mouth]
- Darrin Stephens: Tastes good too. What is that?
- Samantha: Strawberry frosting. It was going to be a surprise.
- Darrin Stephens: It is a surprise. I always thought you had plain, ordinary hair.
- Samantha: Do you like it?
- Darrin Stephens: I love your hair.
- Samantha: I mean the frosting. I baked you a cake.
- Gladys Kravitz: [looking out the window with Abner] There he is, Abner! That's the one who kissed me.
- Abner Kravitz: It don't make any sense, Gladys. He's got her. Why would he want to kiss you?
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Here you see the average, normal, suburban housewife in one of her daily routine tasks: Preparing breakfast for her husband. With a modern kitchen and all conveniences at her disposal, the capable housewife moves efficiently through her tasks. Of course, sometimes there are problems, especially if your husband expects breakfast ready before he goes to work. But that's no problem for the average, normal suburban housewife, if she happens to be a witch.
- Endora: Just because you married a human, Samantha, that's no reason to overdo this grubby little household role.
- Endora: [to Samantha] Don't worry Samantha. He won't see me. Witches honor. And you know me to be a witch of my word.
- Gladys Kravitz: [looking out the window] Abner, the house across the street has got a lawn and, Abner, there are trees and flowers.
- Abner Kravitz: What do you want from me?
- Gladys Kravitz: Come take a look Abner.
- Abner Kravitz: Gladys, don't pull. Take a spoonful of your medicine.
- Gladys Kravitz: I don't need my medicine.
- Abner Kravitz: I say you do, and I've never lied to you Gladys.
- Endora: [about mortals] Oh, they all look alike to me. Noses to the grindstone, shoulders to the wheel, feet planted firmly on the ground. No wonder they can't fly.
- Samantha: [Darrin feels that someone is around. Samantha pretends innocence] Who could be here?
- Darrin Stephens: Nobody that I know, but I don't know about people you know. People I know, you can see, but I'm not so sure about people you know.
- Darrin Stephens: Sam, are you angry about something?
- Samantha: Why, no, of course not. It's just that I think some things should be kept to ourselves. You were talking about driving out of the city.
- Darrin Stephens: Yes, well, I drove out to a new development... Some things should be kept to ourselves? Who's here?
- Samantha: What do you mean?
- Darrin Stephens: Just what I said. Who's here in this room with us? Is somebody watching us?
- Darrin Stephens: That's that.
- Samantha: Incidentally, that poor woman you kissed and scared half to death was Gladys Kravitz. She and her husband, Abner, live across the street.
- Darrin Stephens: Well, as soon a we get settled, I'll go over and apologise. Anyway, I suppose it's better than getting the neighborhood reputation of being standoffish.
- Samantha: Oh, really.