The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Mad Love (1999)

Kevin Conroy: Batman, Bruce Wayne

Photos 

Quotes 

• Batman : [Talking to Joker on a moving train]  She almost had me, you know. Arms and legs chained, dizzy from the blood rushing to my head. I had no way out other than convincing her to call you. I knew your massive ego wouldn't let anyone else take the honor of killing me. Although you have to admit she came a lot closer than you ever did... Puddin'.

  [Joker stares for a second, then goes absolutely berserk and attacks] 

• Harley Quinn : You know, for what it's worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps, but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now, all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart.

  Batman : You, and the Joker?

  Harley Quinn : Right-a-rooney.

  [Batman laughs] 

  Harley Quinn : I've never seen you laugh before! I don't think I like it!

  [Batman laughs even harder] 

  Harley Quinn : Cut it out! You're giving me the creeps!

  Batman : You little fool. The Joker doesn't love anything except himself. Wake up, Harleen. He had you pegged for hired help the minute you walked into Arkham.

  Harley Quinn : That's not - no. NO! He told me things, secret things that he never told anyone!

  Batman : Was it his line about the abusive father? Or the one about the runaway mom. He's gained a lot of sympathy with that one.

  Harley Quinn : Stop it! You're making me confused!

  Batman : What was it he told that one parole officer... Oh yeah, "There was only one time I ever saw Dad really happy. He took me to the Ice Show when I was seven."

  Harley Quinn : [softly]  Circus... He said it was the Circus.

  Batman : He's got a million of them, Harley.

  Harley Quinn : [wiping away her tears]  YOU'RE WRONG! MY PUDDIN' DOES LOVE ME! HE DOES! You're the problem! And now you're gonna die and make everything right! Heh-heh-heh...

  [she starts to lower him in] 

  Batman : Except he'll never believe you did it.

  Harley Quinn : [stops]  Huh...? Sure he will.

  Batman : How's Joker going to know I'm really gone? All those fish will leave are scraps of bone and cloth. Anyone can fake that.

  [Harley glances nervously at his utility belt, lying next to her] 

  Batman : True, you've got my belt, but it's not the same as a body. He'll never buy it.

• Batman : The Joker. Where...?

  Harley Quinn : It's just me, B-Man. No Joker. No gas bombs. No city in peril. Just you, that tank, and me.

  Batman : Why?

  Harley Quinn : To show Mr. J I could really pull off one of his plans. See, he could never get these fishies to smile. But then I had the bright idea of hanging the victim - that's you - upside down. That way, to you, it'll look like they're smiling. Clever?

  Batman : [deadpan]  Brilliant.

  Harley Quinn : Yeah, yeah. I can tell you're less than thrilled.

• Batman : Open it.

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : [opening her briefcase]  Okay?

  Batman : I want Gordon to see these. If what you say is true, the police'll...

  The Joker : Traitor! No one turns stoolie on me and lives!

  [diving on Harley to protect her, Batman throws a batarang; decapitating the Joker, it's revealed to be just a robot] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : [injecting Batman with something]  Sweet dreams, sucker.