The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Joker's Millions (1998)

Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn, Dr. Harleen Quinzel

Quotes 

• Poison Ivy : You're pathetic, you know that?

  Harley Quinn : Come on, Red. So Mr. J. was a little stressed about money. Now that he's loaded, Puddin'll buy my way out, too.

  Poison Ivy : Oh yeah, right, sure thing, Harl.

  [shows Harley the newspaper frontpage] 

  Harley Quinn : [reading headline]  "Joker seeks new henchgirl"?

  [exterior shot of Arkham] 

  Harley Quinn : I'LL KILL HIM!

• [the Joker's getaway car comes to a halt] 

  The Joker : I thought I told you to get gas!

  Harley Quinn : We're broke, remember? What was I supposed to do? Fill the tank, shoot the guy, and drive off?

  The Joker : [nods]  Mm-hmm.

  Harley Quinn : NOW, you tell me!

• The Joker : After all, it's only money. So I'll let the taxpayers foot my bill again. Besides, it'll be nice to see the old gang.

  Harley Quinn : One them's dying to see you, too, puddin'.

  The Joker : Harley?

  Harley Quinn : The one and only.

  The Joker : You... you don't know how happy I am to see you!

  Harley Quinn : Welcome to the club.

  The Joker : [laughing nervously]  Now, baby, I can...

  [sounds of him getting clobbered] 

  The Joker : ...argh! Explain! Ow! Ooh! Ee! Owww!

• The Joker : [shooting at Batman, his gun clicks empty]  Quick, more bullets!

  Harley Quinn : Sorry, puddin'. That was the last clip. You know how expensive they are.

• The Joker : Well, that was a complete fiasco! If we weren't so strapped for cash, I'd never have touched this job. Give me the loot.

  Harley Quinn : Don't you have it?

• The Joker : [seeing the Batmobile approach]  Whoops! Time to eject.

  [he pulls a lever, and his seat ejects from the car] 

  Harley Quinn : [searching for her own]  Hey, where's mine?

  The Joker : Sorry, kiddo! I could only afford one!

  Harley Quinn : You cheap, penny-pinching, pasty-faced creep! I'll get you for this, you lousy tightwad!

• Arkham Guard : Harley Quinn's escaped!

  Arkham Guard : Seal all exits!

  Arkham Guard : Maybe she went down the laundry chute.

  Arkham Guard : None of the yahoos are crazy enough to pull THAT old stunt!

  Poison Ivy : [under her breath]  Ha!

  Harley Quinn : [In a washing machine]  Help! Help! Ivy! Anybody! GET ME OUTTA HERE!