The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Beware the Creeper (1998)

Jeff Bennett: The Creeper, Jack Ryder

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Creeper : I like a girl who plays rough!

  Robin : But... she just tried to kill you!

  The Creeper : You're young. You'll learn.

• Batman : Who are you?

  The Creeper : They call me..."Yellow-Skinned Wacky Man!" But I prefer the Creeper.

  Robin : Call Arkham, quick.

• Jack Ryder : [On TV]  Seven years ago this very night, the clown prince of crime, the Joker, was born on this spot. Since then, Gotham has repeatedly been rocked by the attacks of this criminal madman. Who is he? Where did he come from? What diabolical scheme is he plotting even now? I'm Jack Ryder. Join me as we answer these questions and more on Joker: The Madness Behind the Laughter. His true identity unknown. Operating under a variety of aliases. a nameless gunsel began his criminal career as a hitman for the Valestra mob. Then he struck out on his own, formed a gang...

  Tim Drake : Come on, Bruce. How many times do you have to hear this stuff?

  Jack Ryder : - First target: the Ace Chemical plant.

  [Bruce flashes Tim a look] 

  Tim Drake : Oh, I forgot. Mr. Obsessive.

• The Creeper : I'd better slow down here, try to figure out logically what's going on.

  [Creeper thinks for a second, the sound of something breaking is head as he grabs his head] 

  The Creeper : Whoa, that hurt! Okay, we'll come back to that...

• The Creeper : I know you! Last time we met you were working for - dramatic pause - the Joker!

  Mo : We don't know nothing about no Joker, creep.

  The Creeper : Creep? Creep? I like it. My new name: the Creep!... No, wait. Too negative. I have it! I am - drum roll, please?

  [silence] 

  The Creeper : I said drum roll, please!

  Cur : [Banging on his head]  Hey!

  The Creeper : I am... The Creeper!

• The Creeper : [rooting through clothing at a thrift store]  No. Nope. No. No!

  [tries on a plastic Adam West-style Batman mask, then discards it] 

  The Creeper : It's been done. Any suggestions?

  Thrift Store Manager : [deadpan]  With your coloring, I'd go green.

  The Creeper : Gotcha.

  [Emerging in his costume for the first time] 

  The Creeper : What about the boa? Too much?

  Thrift Store Manager : Not for you, baby.

  The Creeper : [intense]  I want to strike terror into the hearts of criminals.

  Thrift Store Manager : Cash or plastic?

  [the Creeper slaps the Batman mask down on the counter] 

  The Creeper : Plastic!

  [manic chuckle] 

  Thrift Store Manager : Ha. Funny.

• The Creeper : Aw, sweetie got a boo-boo?

  Harley Quinn : [hitting him with her mallet]  Aw, creepo got a concussion?

  The Joker : [laughing until he sees Batman and Robin approaching]  Stall 'em, dollface! I'll, uh... get the car.

• The Creeper : [Ryder emerges from the sewers, misshapen and demented from exposure to the Joker gas and chemicals; chuckles maniacally]  Breaking news!

  [sinister] 

  The Creeper : And if you broke it, you have to pay for it. And now the weather: partially ga-ga with a fifty percent chance of schizophrenia!

  [lurches away, cackling] 

• Harley Quinn : He's the creep who's stealing your act!

  The Creeper : And that's not all, Mr. Happy! I'm stealing your girl, too.

  Harley Quinn : I swear, Mr. J, I didn't encourage him!

  The Joker : That's okay, pooh. I know you're a one man loon.

• Jack Ryder : So this antidote patch is the only thing between me and a room at Arkham?

  Batman : It's temporary. I'll need to make more.

  Jack Ryder : Thanks, but I might as well have dissolved in that vat. My career...

  Batman : Is salvageable. No one else knows you were the Creeper. Keep wearing the patch and it'll stay that way.

  [he and Robin fire their grappling guns and swing away] 

  Jack Ryder : A little piece of cotton. Hard to believe.

  [removing the patch, he starts laughing maniacally] 

• Harley Quinn : Hey, you're the guy swiping Mr. J's act.

  The Creeper : [punching Curly]  Not me! I'm one of a kind, toots!

  [seeing Batman, she cowers, but Crawler punches him, unaware who's there] 

  Harley Quinn : What do you want?

  The Creeper : The inside story on the Joker. Also, your phone number.

  [he growls playfully] 

  Robin : [Batman gets to his feet]  I see you found him.

• The Creeper : [peeking into a random apartment]  Excuse me, lady, I seem to be having a wee bit of an identity crisis.

• The Creeper : [flirting with Harley]  Baby, on you, even garbage looks good.

• The Creeper : It's official. My TVQ's in the toilet. I've got to avenge myself and pull the plug on the Joker's show.

  [smelling his armpit] 

  The Creeper : Ew!

  [spotting a thrift store across the street] 

  The Creeper : But first...

• The Creeper : Ooh! Feisty cookie! I like her.

  [catching something thrown at him] 

  The Creeper : That's right, mama. Hurt me. I've been bad.

  Harley Quinn : Knock it off, creep.

  The Creeper : Creep?

  Harley Quinn : Well, you are agile. I'll give you that.

  The Creeper : [amorously]  And what else will you give me?

  Harley Quinn : Come here and see.

  [as he moves towards her, she pulls a level and drops a wooden crate on him] 

• The Creeper : Jilted madman stalks crazy clown girl. Film at 11:00.

  Robin : "Film at 11:00"? You don't think...

  Batman : The chemicals in the vat could've interacted with Joker's laughing gas. And he had Ryder's credit card.

  Robin : You mean that's Jack Ryder? The news guy?

  Batman : What's left of him.