The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Animal Act (1998)

Jane Wiedlin: Miranda Kane

Quotes 

• Det. Harvey Bullock : You sure it's locked this time? We've got enough yahoos running around this city without having to deal with Yogi and Boo-Boo too.

  Miranda Kane : Look, I don't know how they got out, but I can assure you I have these bears under control.

  Det. Harvey Bullock : Swell, cause I'll be back in the morning to make out a police report. And by that time, toots, you better have something more to say than, "I don't know."

• Miranda Kane : What are you doing with my bears?

  The Mad Hatter : "I can't explain myself", said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."

  Miranda Kane : Who are you?

  The Mad Hatter : A lonely wretch named Jervis Tetch. Also known as...

  Miranda Kane : The Mad Hatter.

  The Mad Hatter : At your service.

  [Miranda raises her arm to strike him with her whip, but her python, brainwashed by the Mad Hatter, begins to bind her in it's coils] 

  The Mad Hatter : "The time has come", the Walrus said, "to talk of many things... of bears and snakes, and clever crimes. That spring from circus rings."

• Nightwing : Awfully quiet.

  Batman : Which way is her trailer?

  Nightwing : This way.

  Miranda Kane : [screaming nearby]  Help, somebody!

  Nightwing : On the other hand, that way might be good, too.

• The Mad Hatter : [freeing Peaches the gorilla]  Good girl. You're my ticket out of here.

  Nightwing : [knocking his hat off with a whip]  Hats off in front of a lady, right, Peaches?

  [cracking the whip again, he destroys Hatter's hat] 

  The Mad Hatter : [drawing a gun]  Ha! I hate having to resort to such a base, pedestrian form of violence, but you leave me no choice.

  [Batman knocks the gun out of his hand with a batarang, and Peaches hits him with the cage door, then jumps on top of him] 

  The Mad Hatter : Ah! Oof! Ah! Ah! Oof! Get her off! G-g-get her off! Get her off!

  Nightwing : You, uh, gonna stop her?

  Miranda Kane : Eventually.

• Dick Grayson : Tim said he wanted to see what circus life was like, so I arranged for him to spend the rest of the week with Miranda.

  Bruce Wayne : He's going to help train animals?

  Dick Grayson : Not exactly.

  Miranda Kane : [as he mucks out a cage]  When you're done there, I still have the bears' cage.

  Tim Drake : [unenthused]  Great.

  Dick Grayson : Man, I miss it.

  Bruce Wayne : What?

  Dick Grayson : Show business.

• Miranda Kane : What are you doing here?

  Dick Grayson : I heard about the bears on TV. I figured they must be yours.

  Miranda Kane : And that gives you an excuse to break into my trailer?

  Dick Grayson : I... I didn't break in. The door was open.

  Miranda Kane : Hmph. Seems like I'm having problems with locking doors these days.

  Dick Grayson : Is that what happened? You forgot to lock the cage?

  Miranda Kane : No, I didn't forget. I may not be as careful about my own door, but I locked those cages.

  Dick Grayson : Then... how?

  Miranda Kane : Someone's messing with my animals. That's how. And I'm gonna find out who it is.

• Tim Drake : So, you train the animals?

  Miranda Kane : Some, like Peaches here.

  [she pets her head, then stops Dick as he tries to do the same] 

  Dick Grayson : She remembers me.

  Miranda Kane : Circus policy. No one touches the animals but me. Insurance premiums have just gotten too high.