- The Joker: Stop me if you've heard this one, Batman: Two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other...
- Batman: Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?
- The Joker: You call that a punch line?
- Batman: I don't share your sense of humour.
- The Joker: Yet we're linked, you and I. Like comedy and tragedy. Two sides, same coin.
- Batman: The gas, Joker, or I vow I will turn your smile upside down.
- The Joker: Well, if it's gas you want...
- [He throws a playing card at a brown bag, which falls to the stage floor. Batman dodges it in time]
- The Joker: Place all tray tables in their upright positions.
- [Joker laughs maniacally]
- The Joker: They all said I was sick in the head. They said I needed help. Well, maybe I am a bit batty. Blame it on the bats in my belfry.
- [Joker laughs maniacally]
- Arkham Orderly: Steiner, check. McSwain, check. 2-23 vacant.
- [the orderly sees a figure with green hair in cell 2-23]
- Arkham Orderly: Hey. No-one logged any new arrivals.
- [He opens the cell door]
- Arkham Orderly: Whoa! What are you doing in here? What the...?
- [the figure also has white feet, yellow teeth and red eyes]
- The Joker: I was feeling a bit screwloose, so I checked myself in.
- Arkham Orderly: Who? Who are you?
- The Joker: [pulls out a playing card from his long sleeve] My card.
- [He cackles maniacally]
- Arkham Orderly: No. No, no, no!
- [the figure sprays green gas at the orderly]
- The Joker: Takes after his pa, wouldn't you say?
- [Batman comes face-to-face with Joker, a clown with white skin, green hair and a huge red grin on his face]
- Batman: What did you do to him?
- The Joker: Just some laughing gas, drag. Don't tell me you're not an inmate.
- [jumps down]
- The Joker: What rational being dresses like you? Speaking of threads, think this is a good look for me?
- Batman: Who are you?
- The Joker: Joker.
- Batman: Not what. Who?
- [Batman places one hand on Joker's face. There is no sign of white paint on his hand]
- The Joker: Smear-free. It's perma-clown! Ooh, tough crowd. Look. Nothing up my sleeves. Ha, ha. Nothing that won't put a smile on your face. Say cheese!
- [Batman throws a batarang, which knocks Joker's weapon out of his hand]
- The Joker: I'm out of gas.
- Batman: And I'm out of patience!
- [Batman punches Joker]
- The Joker: You really know how to spoil a coming-out party. How do you expect me to spread mirth and whimsy without a proper hideout?
- Batman: Listen, Joker, you're sick. You need help.
- The Joker: Well, maybe I am a little off.
- [kicks Batman]
- The Joker: But what are you gonna do, lock me in the loony bin? I'm already here!