Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Harley and Ivy (1993)

Arleen Sorkin: Harley Quinn, Dr. Harleen Quinzel

Photos 

Quotes 

• [a trio of Frat boys pull up alongside Harley and Ivy, and make some lewd comments] 

  Poison Ivy : Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?

  Frat Boy : [slaps his butt]  And what are you gonna do, spank me?

  Harley Quinn : That's right, pigs!

  [raises a bazooka] 

  Harley Quinn : And here's the paddle!

  [yelling, the boys leap out of their car and run just before Harley blows it to pieces] 

• Harley Quinn : Hey aren't you that plant lady... Poison Oaky?

  Poison Ivy : IVY! Poison Ivy!

• Harley Quinn : I remember I used to go driving like this with Mr. J...

  Poison Ivy : [mockingly]  "Mr. J., Mr. J.!" Oh, change the record, Harl!

• [last lines; everyone is back in Arkham] 

  The Joker : That's it. The next time I start a gang, no women. YOU HEAR ME? NO WOMEN!

  [outside, Harley and Ivy are tending the vegetable patch] 

  Harley Quinn : I think we can still work it out, don't you?

  [Ivy flings a handful of soil in her face] 

• [Batman is lashed to a wooden table] 

  Poison Ivy : Admit it, darling, you didn't think two women were capable of bringing you down.

  Batman : Man or woman, a sick mind is capable of anything.

  Poison Ivy : A very enlightened statement, Batman. We'll carve it on your headstone.

  Harley Quinn : [pushes him into the toxic water]  Aloha, sucker!

• [as Harley prepares to steal the "Harlequin Diamond"] 

  Harley Quinn : Ooh-ooh, Mr. J is gonna plotz when he sees this...! No. No, I'm keeping this one just for myself... maybe.

• Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Mr. J?

  The Joker : Harley?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Hi, puddin'. You still angry with me?

  The Joker : Honey, baby, pumpkin pie... you know I can't hold a grudge. Where are you?

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : With a friend. Look, I can't talk, but I wanted to let you know I'm okay.

  [hearing a door close] 

  Dr. Harleen Quinzel : Oops. Gotta go. I'll talk to you soon.

  The Joker : [having been tracing the call]  Sooner than you think.

• Harley Quinn : [after the Joker throws her out]  I'll show you. You'll be sorry! I'll pull a big heist, and I'll be laughing at you. Ha ha! You hear? Laughing!

  [taking just a few steps] 

  Harley Quinn : I miss him already.

• The Joker : My, haven't you been the busy little bees?

  Harley Quinn : Puddin'?

  The Joker : You were out, so we just made ourselves at home. Hope you don't mind.

  Harley Quinn : You found me!

  Poison Ivy : So much for self-esteem.

• The Joker : Hoo! Ha ha ha ha! Look at the goodies.

  Poison Ivy : That's ours, you louse!

  The Joker : Oh, Pammy, I wouldn't leave you empty-handed. Since you like flowers so much...

  Harley Quinn : Oh, puddin', no!

  The Joker : [pushing her away]  You can have mine!

  [spraying the flower on his lapel into her face] 

  Harley Quinn : Oh! Red!

  Poison Ivy : [coughing, then laughing]  It doesn't work on me.

• The Joker : Quick! Turn here!

  Harley Quinn : But, boss, that's...

  The Joker : I said turn!

  Harley Quinn : Yes, sir.

  The Joker : WHOA-OAAHHH! Why didn't you tell me someone put a hill there?

  Harley Quinn : I tried, but...

  The Joker : Never mind. Just hand me the gun.

  [seeing the Batmobile catching up] 

  The Joker : Come on! Come on!

  Harley Quinn : [handing him a large revolver]  Here.

  The Joker : [taking aim]  Hey, Batsy! This is where I leave you flat.

  [firing it, a rod pops out and a "Bang!" flag unfurls] 

  The Joker : Huh? You nincompoop!

  Harley Quinn : [ducking as he throws it at her]  Ahh! You didn't say which gun.

• The Joker : No, we didn't get the diamond. The Dork Knight showed up before we even got to the museum. I had a great shot at him, too, except my dear little Harley Quinn handed me the wrong gun!

  Harley Quinn : But, puddin', it was kind of funny watching you shoot at him with the "bang" flag.

  The Joker : Funny? You presume to tell me what I should think is funny? In fact, when have you ever contributed a worthwhile idea to this gang?

  Harley Quinn : Well, I... I did get us away from Batman.

  The Joker : Oh, huzzah! The kid gets lucky, and she wants a medal. Maybe I should just let you run the gang. Maybe you're a better crook than the rest of put together.

  Harley Quinn : Maybe.

  [cowering at his glare] 

  Harley Quinn : Not.

• Harley Quinn : [robbing the same museum as Poison Ivy]  Nice work, butterfingers. Why didn't you just turn on the Bat-Signal while you were at it?

  Poison Ivy : I wasn't trying to get caught.

  Harley Quinn : Could have fooled me.

• Harley Quinn : You'd think after living with Mr. J, I'd be used to a little pain.

  Poison Ivy : Why do you put up with that clown?

  Harley Quinn : Don't get me wrong. My puddin's a little rough sometimes, but he loves me, really.

  Poison Ivy : Sure he does. You're just one big forgiving doormat, aren't you?

  Harley Quinn : I am not a doormat. Am I?

  Poison Ivy : If you had a middle name, it would be "Welcome".