Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Harlequinade (1994)

Mark Hamill: Jack Napier, The Joker

Quotes 

• [fleeing the city] 

  Harley Quinn : But what about all our friends? Ivy and Two-Face and... Hat Guy and Lizard Man and Puppet Head and...

  The Joker : What about them?

  Batman : Don't forget your little pets!

  Harley Quinn : [gasp]  The babies! We can't leave the babies!

  The Joker : I'll buy you a goldfish. Let's go!

• Harley Quinn : Freeze, clown.

  Batman : Quinn! Stop!

  Harley Quinn : He's mine, Bats.

  The Joker : You wouldn't dare. You don't have the guts.

  [tears well in her eyes] 

  The Joker : Not in a million years would you...

  [she cocks the gun and pulls the trigger; a pole pops out with "rat-tat-tat" cards] 

  The Joker : [after glaring at her in anger, he cackles]  Baby, you're the greatest!

• The Joker : Come, my dear. We'll get to a safe altitude, then watch the fireworks.

  Robin : It's lucky you were here, Harley. The countdown sequence didn't leave Joker enough time to swing by Arkham and pick you up.

  The Joker : [under his breath]  Quiet, brat.

  Harley Quinn : You were gonna come back for me, weren't you, Puddin'?

  The Joker : Of course, Pumpkin Pie. It's just that, well, here you are. So I can, uh... save myself a trip.

• The Joker : Harley?

  Harley Quinn : Hi, Puddin'. Miss me?

  The Joker : Ooh, you clever little minx. How did you escape from Arkham?

  Harley Quinn : Batman sprung me so's I could find you. Had me all locked up in his bad old car, too.

  The Joker : [feigning sympathy]  Aw.

  Batman : Quinn! We had a deal.

  Harley Quinn : Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said anything about hurtin' Mr. J.

• Dealer : Here it is, gentlemen. Enough kaboom to turn Gotham into the world's biggest pothole. What say we start the bidding at, uh... one million?

  [various bids are called] 

  Dealer : Gentlemen, please, don't insult me with nickel-and-dime bids. The man who walks out with this bomb walks out with Gotham in his pocket, yours to pick clean or blow sky-high. Your call. What am I bid?

  The Joker : How about nothing? Zero, zip, zilch, nada?

  [throwing one of his razor-sharp playing cards] 

  The Joker : My personal check for bupkis, drawn on the First National Bank of squat-doo.

  [the thugs all cock their guns] 

  The Joker : Sorry, boys. This lot is sold.

  [he takes off his top hat to reveal a cannonball bomb with a lit fuse] 

• The Joker : Nothing like a moonlight dip, eh, Mr. Mayor?

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Please. Just make your ransom demands and get on with it.

  The Joker : Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy.

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : You can't mean...

  The Joker : Oh, yes, indeedy-do. Instead of taking you, the cops, and the Batman down separately, I'm going to blast you all at once!

  [into his walkie-talkie] 

  The Joker : Send down the plane, boys. We're blowing town. Literally.

• The Joker : You really should loosen up, Dealer. Have a laugh now and then.