- Turkey Bowinkle: Bowinkle? It's just a family name.
- Alfred: That's what I thought. You see, I specialize in genealogy.
- Turkey Bowinkle: [thinks for a moment] Ghosts?
- Alfred: Family trees.
- Lisa: Sorry I'm late, Jervis, but I needed a pedicure.
- Robin: The girl from Magda's!
- Batman: Up to her pretty neck in evil.
- Mad Hatter: You're just in time. Batman and Robin are about to undergo a treatment I usually reserve for rabbits, muskrats and beavers.
- Lisa: Jervis, how droll! Do get on with it though, then perhaps you can take me for a bite to eat.
- Mad Hatter: And now, Caped Crusader, you will take off your cowl and hand it over. Then you will sit for your photograph for all the world to see. After that, I will take you on a personally conducted tour of my hat factory.
- Batman: I'll have to be dead before you get my cowl.
- Mad Hatter: Then we'll start with the hat factory. Straight ahead, please.