- John Steed: [on telephone] Pongo, please listen. She's got a key with her. It's a perfectly ordinary key, but there's something strange about it.
- Emma Peel: An old uncle of mine died, some while back, left me his house. I have to go and look at it.
- John Steed: Oh, how upsetting.
- Emma Peel: Not really, I never knew him.
- John Steed: No, that you have to dash. I've got my hands full and I could do with a cup o' coffee.
- Emma Peel: [a man dressed like a scout has stopped Mrs. Peel's car on the road] I might have killed you.
- Frederick Withers: The speed you were going?
- [shakes his head]
- Frederick Withers: The stopping distance to this car is 147 feet, allowing for average reflexes. I positioned myself 150 feet away.
- Emma Peel: Very mathematical of you.
- Frederick Withers: I am a very mathematical person.
- Emma Peel: You're also very stupid. Supposing I hadn't seen you?
- Frederick Withers: In that case, my death would have been entirely your fault.
- Burton: This is the horse the kicked the cow... that chased the dog that bit the cat... that killed the rat... that lived in the house that Jack built.
- Professor Keller: [voice over] I am dead. I've been dead for quite some time. Only the house is alive. Only the house...