The Avengers (TV Series)

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Station (1967)

James Hayter: Ticket Collector

Quotes 

• Ticket Collector : How did the ceremony go?

  Groom : Mr. Salt, late V.I.P., now R.I.P.

• Ticket Collector : Salt's camera had a film in it.

  Bride : Very practical place to keep a film, I'd say.

• Ticket Collector : Ah, Mr. Steed.

  John Steed : Ah, Ticket Inspector.

  Ticket Collector : I had you brought here to witness the final phase.

  John Steed : That's very decent of you.

  Ticket Collector : It's for me really. Verging on megalomania, you might say. But eh, a coup is not a coup without someone to see.

  John Steed : Well I'm afraid I shan't be able to applaud.

  [Steed is handcuffed to a pipe hanging from the ceiling] 

  Ticket Collector : The look in your eyes will be enough.

• Ticket Collector : Another five miles, Mr. Steed, and then...

  John Steed : Pop goes the diesel?

  Ticket Collector : Very droll!

• Ticket Collector : I am about to kill your Prime Minister.

  John Steed : Oh? How do you know which way I voted?