Arrested Development (TV Series)

Notapusy (2005)

Ron Howard: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : There were actually two "Startled Straight" tents, but George Sr. had accidentally wandered into the church sponsored one, determined to steer homosexual men into a more heterosexual lifestyle.

  George Bluth Sr. : You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk?

  Gay Guy : Is he ugly?

  George Bluth Sr. : You can't see anything. It's pitch black. And it NEVER STOPS, guys! And everybody acts like it's no big deal.

  Gay Guy : Is there a cover charge?

• Narrator : And George Sr. had managed to startle nobody but himself.

  George Bluth Sr. : There's nothing to do there all day but lift weights, fold laundry... and get thrown into a cage with a bunch of sweaty men. Oh god, I cant go back. Cant go back!

  [he leaves] 

  Gay Guy : I'm glad he wont be there. He's ugly.

• Narrator : Michael and his son had never made a good athletic team. The only thing that George Michael was good at was hanging motion-less from the monkey bars, which the President's Council On Fitness ranks as "slightly easier than the slide".

• Rita : Oh Michael, you're such a (bleep).

  Narrator : I cant believe we had to bleep that out. That would have been such a nice moment.

• Narrator : Meanwhile, at the Church And State Fair, Maeby was signing up for the inner beauty pagaent.

  George-Michael Bluth : So why are you doing this, Maeby?

  Mae "Maeby" Fünke : It's Shirley. I'm just here to show that all these pagaents care about is looks.

  George-Michael Bluth : What's with your nose?

  Mae "Maeby" Fünke : Isn't it cool? It's the same one Nicole Kidman wore in "The Hours".

  Narrator : It had been purchased for her by Jamie Kennedy who was hoping to land a part in Maeby's film.

  Jamie Kennedy : Ten thousand dollars!

  Mae "Maeby" Fünke : You're such a dear, but I'm not putting you in my remake.

  [a giant green "X" appears on Jamie Kennedy] 

• Michael : Oh that's a tough race.

  Steve Holt : Only for a wimp, a wuss, a pussy.

  Narrator : And Steve didn't mean "pussy cat".

• Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Buster signs Steve Holt up for the Army.

  George "Gob" Bluth II : No, you can't, you can't! I'm finally ready to be a father to you. I know that now.

  Steve Holt : I don't go in for another two years.

  George "Gob" Bluth II : Well, as your father, can I sign something?

  [a giant green "X" appears on GOB] 

  Narrator : And George Sr. finds out that a fake Popemobile... cant stop real bullets.