- Gob: I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it, because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
- Michael Bluth: You were going to South America?
- Gob: I don't think so.
- Michael Bluth: Fine, we'll have a party
- Mae 'Maebe' Funke: For Gangey?
- Michael Bluth: Yeah, how'd you know?
- George Michael Bluth: She called and invited us.
- Lindsay Funke: [to Michael] Okay, maybe it was her idea.
- Mae 'Maebe' Funke: We don't have to come, do we?
- Michael Bluth: Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
- Lindsay Funke: Michael, you cant expect mom to drive. She's the world's worst driver.
- Narrator: Lindsay was not exaggerating. Lucille had recently been featured on a Fox special "World's Worst Drivers".
- Usher: Sir, we will not be starting with "Less Cousins Dangeroozies" until you leave.
- Lucille Austero: I'm sorry, I was under the impression my AARP card was good for one and a date.
- Byron "Buster" Bluth: I knew society wouldn't accept this. And they never will.
- [Buster bolts for the curtains, not realizing there's a cinder block wall behind it. He collides and collapses]
- Lucille Austero: Buster... Buster...
- Usher: We just need the three extra bucks.
- Michael Bluth: Hey Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?
- Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
- Michael Bluth: It was this morning. And now I hear that you've hired a crew for the yacht? I'm selling that yacht.
- Lucille: Michael, you haven't heard why I want it: To throw the most lavish party this town has ever seen for my birthday!
- Michael Bluth: I enjoy a bicentennial as much as the next guy, Mom, but we're not doing that.