- Cordelia: So here I am at L'Petite Renard with "Mr. Armani" who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life...
- Angel: Blue boxes?
- Cordelia: Tiffany's. God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was if this wimp saw a monster he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
- Angel: There aren't very many people who wouldn't run. It's just human nature.
- Cordelia: Yeah. But, all of a sudden, rich and handsome wasn't enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault, both of you.
- Angel: Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. And that could be a good thing.
- Cordelia: Or disastrous. As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some badly-dressed superhero. He was really beat up. But, you know the first thing he asked? "Are you okay?"
- Cordelia: Doyle taught third grade? The kind with children?
- Harriett 'Harry' Doyle: Well, yeah.
- Cordelia: Are you sure he wasn't just held back and used that as a cover story?
- Uncle John: Rick, what's this?
- Rick: You said get a utensil...
- Uncle John: This is a shrimp fork. He's gonna eat the guy's brains with a shrimp fork?
- Rick: Well pardon me if our ancient ancestor didn't leave behind any former-husband-brain-eating-forks!
- Uncle John: Get a soup spoon, you moron.
- Cordelia: You'll get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
- Allen Francis Doyle: You think I'm a nice guy?
- Cordelia: I think it, I say it. It's my way.
- [Doyle saved Cordelia from a vampire]
- Cordelia: You were so... brave.
- Allen Francis Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're steppin' on my moment of manliness here.
- Cordelia: I'm sorry, I'm just, uh...
- Allen Francis Doyle: Surprised?
- Cordelia: Grateful.
- Cordelia: I was thinking that, uh, maybe I haven't been entirely fair to you. Maybe you don't actually have *zero* potential.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Wow, Cordelia. Thanks.
- Cordelia: Maybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really, *really* hidden. But depths. And I kinda have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [about Cordelia] She's not going to fall for my ample but unpretentious charms, is she?
- Angel: Unless by some unpretentious means you don't like to brag about your family's old money.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, the only money in my family is underneath the couch cushions. Not to mention the fact that half of them are demons.
- Cordelia: I swore when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.
- Cordelia: Hi, Doyle. Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cuz, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
- Angel: Hey.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Hey.
- Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and-and look at the way clothes hang on him. But you...
- Angel: O-Okay. I think you've cheered us up enough.
- [after one of Doyle's visions]
- Allen Francis Doyle: There's a young guy.
- Angel: Where?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Vampires have a nest downtown. Poor kid's gonna be the entrée.
- Angel: Let's go. Come on.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Everybody's got dinner plans but us.
- Allen Francis Doyle: You're marryin' that guy?
- Harriett 'Harry' Doyle: I know, it's wild, huh? I'm definitely the yin to his yang, but it works. He's got a good heart, Francis, just like you.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, maybe, but the container? Can I get a side of bland with that bland?
- Allen Francis Doyle: He's a demon? And she's all signed on to be Mrs. Demon? Tell me again how ugly he is.
- Allen Francis Doyle: So that's it then? That's your exciting plan for this evening? A book?
- Angel: I get enough excitement.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah - of the evil-fighting variety. How about a little off-duty fun?
- Angel: Such as?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Two beautiful words: Sports Bar!
- [Angel gives him a look]
- Allen Francis Doyle: Come on! You know they have Trivia games on the Internet now? You can challenge against drunks around the world. Anything, please! I just can't sit around here while...
- Cordelia: [Coming in] While I steal into the night with my incredibly-more-wealthy-than-you prince?
- Angel: [Reading from a book] Here it is - Ano-movic. Once a nomadic tribe. At one time they did have violent leanings...
- Allen Francis Doyle: There! I knew this nice guy routine was just an act. He's working a spell on her. She gonna sprout hubcaps from her head or something.
- Angel: But they gave up those orthodox teachings, - language, - around the turn of the century.
- [closes the book and puts it down]
- Angel: Now they own a number of restaurants with pretty expensive windows.
- Richard Straley: You're not trying to back out, are you? Not after you gave your blessing.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, yeah. I take it back!
- Richard Straley: [Upset] Oh. - Well. - I see. - Now I'm not so sure I even *want* to eat your brains!
- Rick: Don't be petulant, Richard. You'll eat his brains. He can't take back a blessing. Now, apologize to your friend.
- Richard Straley: He's right. That was rude. I'd be honored to eat your brains.
- Pierce: I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I was hoping we could make a night of it.
- Cordelia: Me, too. I really wanted to hear the end of the story about the pigs and beans.
- Pierce: Don't you want me to take you home?
- Cordelia: My car is here.
- Pierce: Oh, wait, let me walk you.
- [takes Cordy's arm and turns her towards him]
- Pierce: I'm - I'm not really sure about this neighborhood.
- Vampire: [Jumping in from the shadows] You're right, - it's crappy
- [Attacks]
- Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, this Richard, you know, he looks like he'd give her a good life.
- Angel: Yeah
- Allen Francis Doyle: Seems like a nice - friendly fellow, don't you think?
- Angel: Definitely friendly, - only - he seemed a bit...
- Allen Francis Doyle: [Jumps up] Exactly! I knew he was no good! And even though we're ex, I mean, it's still my duty to watch over her, right? But I can't go trailing after her intended myself. I mean, it just wouldn't look right. Angel, you think you would...?
- Angel: Yeah. Just don't tell Cordelia. - She'll wanna charge you.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Look, Richard as much as I like your family, and they're great, - honest, - I'd really prefer if they *didn't* cannibalize me.
- Richard Straley: Oh, no! You misunderstand.
- Allen Francis Doyle: [Hopeful] I do?
- Richard Straley: Yeah. It'll just be me.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Why don't I just give you that hug and we can call it even?
- Brother Straley: [after Harry leaves Richard] You don't need her anyway.
- Party Goer: Yeah, who wants a wife whose knees only bend the one way?