Angel (TV Series)

Guise Will Be Guise (2000)

Charisma Carpenter: Cordelia Chase

Photos 

Quotes 

• Magnus Bryce : She's impure? Sh-She's not a virgin?

  [to Wesley] 

  Magnus Bryce : You...

  Charles Gunn : Whoa, that's what impure meant?

  Cordelia Chase : She slept with him?

  Magnus Bryce : [to Wesley, imitating Angel]  You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.

  Cordelia Chase : You slept with her?

  Angel : A eunuch?

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : Things happen. Two young people. Danger.

  Virginia Bryce : What are you talking about?

  Magnus Bryce : She was a virgin before you got here.

  Virginia Bryce : I was not a virgin!

  Magnus Bryce : What?

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : Oh, thank goodness.

  Charles Gunn : I coulda have told you she wasn't no virgin.

  Angel : Not a eunuch.

  Cordelia Chase : One day as Angel... One day, and he's getting some.

  Magnus Bryce : What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.

  Angel : I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.

  Virginia Bryce : Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was sixteen? And the one at eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.

• Cordelia Chase : What are you doing?

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : Oh, knocking things over, driving away business... You know, the usual.

  Cordelia Chase : Well, I found him and we have to stop him before it's too late. We have to change our... Do you have any clothes a man would wear?

• Cordelia Chase : Right. This is Angel. "Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday".

• Angel : We're going. I don't have to sing.

  Cordelia Chase : Oh, thank God! I-I mean, for your sake. Because I know you don't like to do that.

• Cordelia Chase : Angel! Gunn! What happened?

  Angel : He got hit.

  Cordelia Chase : By who? The swami? Swamis don't hit, swamis "swam".

• [last lines] 

  Cordelia Chase : [handing Angel a magazine]  Look!

  Angel : [reading]  "Virginia Bryce, squired by Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, private detective and bodyguard to the stars..." Squired? Who says squired?

  Cordelia Chase : Look at him all over her!

  Angel : You know what, Cordelia, you're just jealous that he's getting some attention.

  Cordelia Chase : Damn skippy! He's getting famous off this! Reflected glory? That's my thing!

  Angel : Get a little perspective. "Bodyguard to the stars". Yeah right.

  [pause] 

  Angel : There's no "Wyndam-Price Agency"!

• Cordelia Chase : [to Wes]  You've got everybody scared around here. I'll tell you that. It's like they don't even know you're a Shemp.

• Cordelia Chase : [to Wesley]  What is wrong with you? You've got like, delusions of Angel. You're not him. You can't do stuff on your own.

• Charles Gunn : Okay, what I want to know is... how I live in L.A. all my life and not know this weird-ass stuff was going on?

  Cordelia Chase : Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think.

• Charles Gunn : At gun point?

  Cordelia Chase : Yes, the point of a gun. He just walked Wesley right out of here. And this whole "I'm Angel" thing is a very, very bad idea. I mean, if I thought that would work, I could've been Angel, because, guess what? Pretty much a girly name.

• Magnus Bryce : [to Wesley]  You're going to get out of my house now, loser. Take the piece with you.

  Cordelia Chase : The piece? Wa-Was that supposed to be me? Get off me!

• Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : The host, the fellow talking to Angel over there. He helps demons. Reads their souls, senses their futures.

  Cordelia Chase : Yes, but he can only do it when they sing karaoke.