The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

The Rivals (1963)

Andy Griffith: Andy Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Opie Taylor : Pa?

  Andy Taylor : Mm-hm?

  Opie Taylor : Just what *can* you do with a grown woman?

• Barney Fife : [irritated with Opie]  For days now, I've been trying to get a date with Thelma Lou, but he's always around!

  Andy Taylor : You see, there? You never shoulda let him in on all your secrets on how to handle women. See, he stoled your girl right away from ya, but I'll tell you what. He has to be in bed by 8:30, so that'll give you evenings to catch up to him.

• Opie Taylor : Pa?

  Andy Taylor : Mm-hmm?

  Opie Taylor : If I marry Karen someday, her name becomes Karen Taylor, don't it?

  Andy Taylor : Yeah. And all your children become Taylors, too!

  Opie Taylor : Children? I don't think we'd have any children, Pa. We already know plenty of kids to play with.

  Andy Taylor : Well, of course, that's up to you.

  Opie Taylor : Pa? How can I get Karen to like me?

  Andy Taylor : 'Pears to me, she likes you fine!

  Opie Taylor : She won't even let me carry her books! How can I get her to like me?

  Andy Taylor : Well, uh, I guess the best thing to do would be just treat her as nice as you can and then after that, it's up to the love bug as to whether he's gonna bite or not. But, now, if you keep on liking her and she don't like you back, why, I 'spect you'll get over it.

• Barney Fife : Listen, if I had a date with Vicky Harms today and I got myself all shaved and I went over to her house with my snow cone, you know what I'd do?

  Andy Taylor : What?

  Barney Fife : The minute she opened that door, I'd bite off the end of the cone, sip out the syrup and hand *her* the ice. What'd ya think of that?

  Andy Taylor : Well, I'll tell you the truth, Barn. If I was Vicky Harms and a thirty-five-year-old man come up to my house with a snow cone in his hand, I wouldn't even answer the door!

• Barney Fife : You know, she used to do one thing that really burned me up! Every day I would offer her a bite of my snow cone and you know what she would do?

  Andy Taylor : What?

  Andy Taylor : She'd bite off the end, suck all the syrup out and leave me with just the ice! The *ice*!