The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

The Inspector (1961)

Andy Griffith: Andy Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andy Taylor : Well, Barney, no use to get your skinny little veins to poppin'. It's just Sam Allen.

• [while railing at Andy over not taking their inspection seriously, Barney accidentally locks them both in their own jail cell] 

  Andy Taylor : Barney! You beat everything!

• Andy Taylor : Oh, uh, Mr. Case, whenever you make out your report, I surely would appreciate it if you didn't mention the doilies in our jail. Well, we wouldn't want the other sheriffs stealin' our decor.

• Ralph Case : Sheriff, I've inspected many a jail, but I've never seen one like this!

  Andy Taylor : Why, thank ya!

  Ralph Case : What I mean is, this jail doesn't even *seem* like a jail!

  Andy Taylor : Well, now, I'm glad it hitcha that way. That's exactly the effect we was tryin' to achieve. Some of our prisoners have said that - that our cells are kinda like a home away from home!

  Ralph Case : "Home away..."?

  Andy Taylor : Well, ya see, most of our prisoners are friends and neighbors and different ones like that and, well, we figure that they've already met with some kind of misfortune somewhere else and we don't wanna make it any more unpleasant for 'em than we can help.

• Ralph Case : Sheriff Taylor, this is the worst excuse for a jail I've ever seen! I'd hate to think what would happen if something serious came up here! It would be chaotic, disastrous!

  Andy Taylor : Well, there ain't no use thinkin' gloomy thoughts. Golly, look on the bright side!

  Ralph Case : Well, we'll see if there *is* a bright side! I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna call my chief at the state capital and have him come down here and see *this* for himself!

  Andy Taylor : Well, what for?

  Ralph Case : To see whether or not I'm right in recommending that impeachment proceedings be started against you and your force! A sheriff's office should be run by the sheriff and his deputy, not the Katzenjammer Kids!

• Andy Taylor : Now, look here, Mr. Case! You can carry on and make threats against me all you want to, but you're scarin' my deputy half to death and I wish you'd just stop it!

• Andy Taylor : You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Luke, actin' like a young'un! Bad enough you was shootin' at Barney and me, but takin' pot shots at a total stranger? You know better'n that! What's the matter with you?