- Andy Taylor: Some dates last a whole evening and some of 'em get over nice and early, like this one did. You understand that, do ya?
- Opie Taylor: Uh-huh. You got stood up.
- Andy Taylor: I did not! How you know about that?
- Opie Taylor: Matt Merles told me that when you make a date with a girl and she ain't there to meet ya, then you're stood up.
- Andy Taylor: Well, that certainly didn't happen to me! I went over to Peggy's house and she had something else to do, so I come on home. Now, that don't sound like gettin' stood up, does it?
- Opie Taylor: Don't sound like a date, either.
- Barney Fife: [Andy has returned to the courthouse in a huff. He was supposed to be on a date with Peggy, he's angrily looking around for a magazine] What happened? Did you get stood up?
- Andy Taylor: No, I didn't get stood up! Have you seen my magazine?
- Barney Fife: Wasn't she home?
- Andy Taylor: She was home! She was home! Had company!
- Barney Fife: Company?
- Andy Taylor: Yeah. An old college pal of hers. Guess what his name was?
- [Nods while standing over the seated Barney, who is played by Don Knotts]
- Andy Taylor: Don! Wouldn't you know his name would be "Don"?
- [Long pause from open-mouthed Barney]
- Barney Fife: [Barney and other unwanted company are now leaving, the women have gone outside] I'm sorry this wasn't the one, Andy, but I'll keep working on it. You'll never be lonely as long as I'm around.
- Andy Taylor: [Andy stands alone at the door. He talks to himself, shaking his head and rolling his eyes] I don't know what I did to deserve all this attention from him, but whatever it was, I ain't never gonna do it again!