- Hayley Smith: [about the mall] What kind of idiot would buy into this materialistic crap?
- Steve Smith: And we widen to reveal...
- Stan Smith: Look at all this cool stuff!
- Francine Smith: You want your money, you unsupportive jerk? Fine! Here's your $5,000 back.
- Stan Smith: You made all this in one day?
- Francine Smith: That's right, I did. Through hard work and giving people incorrect change.
- Francine Smith: Stan, it's great the CIA gave you that $20,000 bonus for "Most Evasive Testimony to Congress," but at this rate, it'll be gone in no time.
- Stan Smith: Hey, if I don't buy all this crap, the terrorists win! And don't tell me it's not a competition, because it SO is.
- Francine Smith: This man's given me something you haven't for a long time.
- Stan Smith: We've talked about this. My neck gets tired.
- Francine Smith: I'm talking about respect, Stan.
- Stan Smith: Oh my God, you respected her? You're dead, Klaus!
- Francine Smith: You know, you seem very familiar. Have we met before?
- Klaus: [nervously] Oh, you know, I'm just one of those black Germans that seems familiar to everyone, hmm?
- Stan Smith: Now, make me that breakfast you owe me.
- Klaus: Right away. But first, let me ask you something. How many eggs should I eat to get enough energy to plow your wife?
- Stan Smith: Uh, three should do it... What?
- [Klaus knocks Stan unconscious with a frying pan]
- Francine Smith: Stan, I did some research on that kiosk at the mall. If you gave me $5,000 of your bonus, I could start a business selling my muffins. I think there's a real market for...
- Stan Smith: Ooh, ooh, uh, I... I'm sorry... sorry to interrupt, but, uh, real quick, this is the worst idea I've ever heard. Never gonna happen, but, please, keep going.
- Francine Smith: Oh, just forget it!
- Stan Smith: Great call, Francine.
- Steve Smith: Dad, I'm meeting the fellas at the movies. Can I have a few bucks for popcorn?
- Stan Smith: [wearing a money suit] Do I look like I'm made of money?
- Arboreus: If this mall expansion goes through, hundreds of trees will be slaughtered. Now, we have a plan. But to prove you're dedicated to our cause, you must first make out with tree.
- Hayley Smith: Wait, you want to make out with me?
- Hayley Smith: ME? No, I got a redwood in Canada.
- [holds up bonsai tree]
- Hayley Smith: But my friend here thinks you're really cute.
- [Hayley awkward stares at Arboreus]
- Hayley Smith: What's wrong? Is it because he's Asian?
- Steve Smith: Are guys really think, I'm a werewolf.
- [as Snot ties his hands behind his back with rope]
- Snot: Well we can't take any chances, there's a full moon tonight.
- [Barry and Toshi then hold up a gag and kimono]
- Steve Smith: Wait a minute, I understand the rope. But what's the deal with the gag and kimono?
- Barry: I don't know, but I walk into my parents, once and they were using all three.
- Steve Smith: But there's no way I'm...
- [Barry shoves gag into Steve's mouth]
- Barry: YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU BITCH!
- [Boys stare at Barry shocked]
- Barry: That's what my mom says to my dad.