All in the Family (TV Series)

Edith's Problem (1972)

Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mike Stivic : [Edith is going through menopause]  What did the doctor say?

  Archie Bunker : He just said that menopause is a pretty tough time to be going through; especially for nervous types.

  Mike Stivic : So?

  Archie Bunker : So he prescribed these here pills.

  [takes bottle of pills out of paper bag] 

  Mike Stivic : Oh, good.

  Archie Bunker : I gotta take three of 'em a day.

• Mike Stivic : Hey it just occurred to me, Mickey Mouse is black.

  Archie Bunker : Mickey Mouse ain't got no race. He represents all men.

  Mike Stivic : Oh, I guess that's why Walt made him a mouse.

• [Archie and Edith are planning a trip to Disney World] 

  Mike Stivic : You know it just occurred to me - Mickey Mouse is black.

  Archie Bunker : Aww get out of here with that! Mickey Mouse has no race. He stands for all men.

• [Edith is going through menopause, and Archie is planning a trip, with Doctor's orders to be patient with her] 

  Edith Bunker : I wanna talk about where we're going.

  Archie Bunker : Well, that's fine, there, Edith. If you want to talk about Florida, let's talk about Florida. And by the way, we ain't confirmed about going there yet.

  Edith Bunker : No, no, no! Not Florida! I want to go to Scranton.

  Archie Bunker : Scranton?

  [Forces himself to calm down] 

  Archie Bunker : Edith, uh, what is in Scranton?

  Edith Bunker : My cousin Emily.

  Archie Bunker : [Anger mounting]  Your cousin Emily?

  Edith Bunker : You hate Emily!

  Archie Bunker : [In a reasonable tone]  No, no, no, no, I don't, Edith. I don't hate Emily. I never said that, I never said that at all. No, I like her, and I like their little home in Scranton, there, and those four cute teenagers. I think her husband is a real nice guy, and I, I can't say that...

  [Loses it] 

  Archie Bunker : I can't go on like this, that's one thing I can't do! I can't believe a word of anything I'm saying around here! This ain't natural! No, I don't like her, and I don't like her husband! He's a bum, and he always was, and she's a crank, and she always was! And I hate their four rotten kids! And the only way you're gettin' me to go to Scranton is if some screwball hijacks the airplane! I know all about your women's troubles there, Edith, but when I had the hernia that time I didn't make you wear the truss!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Come on, Archie!

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Daddy!

  Archie Bunker : No, no, no, Edith! If you're gonna have the change of life, you gotta do it right now! I'm gonna give you just thirty seconds. Now, come on, change!