All in the Family (TV Series)

Edith's 50th Birthday: Part 1 (1977)

David Dukes: Lambert

Photos 

Quotes 

• Edith Bunker : [Edith has exhausted every possible escape, and the rapist is unzipping her dress]  Ohhh, there's something burning, in the kitchen.

  Lambert : [frustrated by her stalling]  What is it?

  Edith Bunker : I-it's in the kitchen.

  Lambert : [fed up, but relenting]  All right, all right, come on come on come on.

  Edith Bunker : There's somethin' burning, in the kitchen.

  [they come in the kitchen, which is filled with smoke, she screams, completely hysterical] 

  Edith Bunker : Ohhh, there's a fire! FIRE! Ohhhh, my cake! My ca-cake, it's burnin'!

  Lambert : Lady, get rid of it. Get rid of it!

  Edith Bunker : [Edith shoves the hot smoldering cake directly in the rapist's face, throws open the door, and punches him in the stomach]  GET OUT! GET OUT!

  [throws him out the back door, slams it, then runs through the house out the front door shrieking while the audience applauds wildly] 

• Edith Bunker : I'm an old lady. I'm very old. I'm as old as Lindburgh's airplane.

  Lambert : I like older women.

  Edith Bunker : But I'm married.

  Lambert : So am I.

• Edith Bunker : [petrified]  Wh-what are you doin'? You ain't taking off your clothes, are you?

  Lambert : Yeah. Then I'm going to take yours off.

  Edith Bunker : [squirming desperately to get away]  W-wouldn't you like a cup of coffee instead?

  Lambert : [pushes her back down]  I don't drink coffee.

  Edith Bunker : [desperately]  I got Sanka!

• Edith Bunker : I gotta go to the bathroom.

  [Starts to run upstairs but Lambert races after her] 

  Edith Bunker : What are you doing?

  Lambert : You're going to the bathroom? I'm going with you.

  Edith Bunker : I'll wait 'til tomorrow.

• Edith Bunker : [terrified]  Listen, I gotta get out of here. See, I gotta get ready for my birthday party.

  Lambert : Happy birthday.

  Edith Bunker : Thank you.