Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

Don't Interrupt (1958)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction - Hitchcock is tied to a railroad track] 

  Self - Host : Good evening, fellow tourists. I think this proves that, in some areas, the airplane can never replace the train. The gentleman who tied me here was most thoughtful. In order to keep the railroad ties from chapping my hips, he put me on an anthill. And in the event I wanted to do some reading, he left me a railroad timetable. I have found it most useful. You see, my assailant was a railroad executive who took exception to some of my remarks about the promptess of trains. I have the last laugh, however, for I see, by a footnote, that the train he expected would trisect me runs only on the Friday preceding Decoration Day and the Tuesday following Labor Day except on leap year. There isn't another train scheduled to pass for thirty minutes. That should give us just enough time to watch a half-hour television show. Keeping to the theme of tonight's program, I must warn you that, before you get a look at the pleasant scenery, we must first pass through one of those dismal tunnels.

• [afterword - Hitchcock is still tied to the railroad track and it's snowing] 

  Self - Host : I suppose you expect me to be discouraged, but I'm not. I have faith that the railroad will not allow a man to lie here indefinitely. As a matter of fact, some passing workers have assured me that a train will be by in a few seconds.

  [a train whistle blows] 

  Self - Host : There it is now. If you want to turn away, you may.

  [cut to an approaching train as we go to commercial, after which we see Hitchcock freed and the train derailed] 

  Self - Host : Look. A complete loss. Fortunately, no one was hurt. No one on the train, that is. I seem to have sustained a very bad bruise on one finger. If you have enjoyed our story or any of this tribia, perhaps you'll be interested in tuning in next week when we shall have more of the same. Until then, good night.