- Shirley Holmes: Who would leave a baby on your doorstep?
- Mr. Howie: That is the question of the hour, Miss Holmes
- [Shirley reads the note that accompanied the baby left on Mr. Howie's doorstep]
- Shirley Holmes: "Don't go to the police. We can only trust you."
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: It's got to be somebody you know, sir.
- Mr. Howie: Impossible. I make it a point to avoid acquaintances en famille. Infants and I don't mix.
- Shirley Holmes: This was written in a hurry. He left the baby in a hurry, too, meaning they were afraid they were being followed. It is a conundrum. You're not supposed to go to the police, but if you don't you could be accused of being a kidnapper.
- Mr. Howie: Why me?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Ok, we have six diapers, three outfits, formula - a couple of bottles, infant cereal and some teething biscuits.
- Shirley Holmes: Enough supply for a couple of days.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: What? Are you kidding me? This stuff would last a day at most. All babies do is poo, pee and puke.
- Shirley Holmes: Since when are you the baby expert?
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Hey, when you've got six cousins all younger than you, ya tend to pick up a thing or two.
- [Shirley pokes and prods the baby]
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Hey! He's a baby, not a canteloupe.
- Shirley Holmes: He's evidence.
- [Shirley considers the clues she's found in the baby's basket that might lead to his parents]
- Shirley Holmes: Sawdust? Grease paint, red wig, sawdust... Of course!
- [while searching through the circus' baggage tent, Shirley and Bo find a clown's huge baby props]
- Shirley Holmes: Well, it's baby stuff.
- Francis Boris 'Bo' Sawchuk: Yeah - mutant baby stuff.
- Psychic Susan: You didn't take him to 333 West Arnott?
- Giggles: I thought you said 333 East Arnott!
- Psychic Susan: Oh, Ted.
- Giggles: You're the psychic. Why didn't you warn me?