- Morticia: [about Wednesday] That tricky little minx...
- Uncle Fester: I wonder which side of the family she got that from?
- Gomez: Both sides!
- Gomez Addams: If you knew she was running away, why didn't you stop her?
- Pugsley Addams: You know women, once they've made up their minds...
- Pugsley Addams: Got any money?
- Wednesday Addams: Twelve cents.
- Pugsley Addams: Good. I thought you were broke.
- Wednesday Addams: They don't love me...
- Pugsley Addams: Oh, they're just using psychology.
- Wednesday Addams: What's that?
- Pugsley Addams: I don't know, but that's what they're using on you.
- Morticia: Gomez, we've got to call the... P.O.L.I.C.E.
- Pugsley Addams: You mean the Fuzz?
- Morticia: What is the Fuzz?
- Pugsley Addams: The Bulls!
- Gomez: Thought you had him there, did't ya?
- Pugsley: Mother! Father! Wednesday's flown the coop!
- Gomez: Talk sense boy.
- Pugsley: She's run away from home.
- Gomez: Really? Very adventurous spirit. I didn't run away from home until I was eight.
- Morticia: That's ridiculous.
- Pugsley: She even left a note. I helped her write it.
- [Hands note to Morticia]
- Morticia: [reading] "Dear Mother and Father, I hate you. Love, Wednesday. P.S. Don't bother looking for me because I'm not anywhere. Goodbye, W."
- Morticia: My name is Mrs. Addams and I want you to find my little girl, Wednesday.
- Sgt. Haley: Look, I'll find her Tuesday, if I can, but don't give me no deadlines, will you please?
- Morticia: Wednesday's her name.
- Sgt. Haley: Oh, and I suppose you're gonna tell me her middle name is Thursday, huh?
- Morticia: Friday.
- Pugsley Addams: Wait, I know a place you can run away to for nothing.
- Wednesday Addams: Where?
- Pugsley Addams: My room. You can hide there and just pretend you've run away from home.
- Wednesday Addams: Then I can run away and still be around to see them suffer.
- Gomez: Well, I guess Wednesday's really gone.
- Morticia: Someday, when she's slaving away in a tuna cannery, she may remember the life of ease she had in this lovely home.
- Gomez: Raggéd, penniless, her little fingers bleeding from the tuna cans, she may return and say she's sorry.
- Morticia: And when that happens, we'll take her back - if we have room.
- Wednesday Addams: [hiding and listening] If they have room?
- Gomez: Come, my dear, let's go down and remove her pictures from the family album.
- Sgt. Haley: Would the nice little lady like a nice big strawberry ice cream cone?
- Wednesday Addams: No, sir.
- Sgt. Haley: Well, what would you like?
- Wednesday Addams: A dead fly.
- Uncle Fester: She's been shooting off all of my dynamite caps.
- Morticia: [to Wednesday] Darling, you have dynamite caps of your own.
- Wednesday Addams: But they're not any fun. They just go "poop."
- Gomez: At your age, a little "poop" ought to be enough.
- Morticia: Uncle Fester, this is not a fun matter. That child has got to be taught to play with her own explosives.