The Addams Family (TV Series)

Fester's Punctured Romance (1964)

Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miss Carver : [with utmost professional charm]  And don't tell me, that gentleman behind you is Uncle Fester. I know from the description I've received.

  Uncle Fester : [dreading a forced marriage]  You can't force me!

  Miss Carver : Oh, I never use force, just gentle persuasion. And sometimes in difficult cases I merely give a free sample and leave the prospect to think it over.

  Morticia Addams : Miss Carver! We don't countenance such behavior in this house.

  Miss Carver : Well, then I'll be happy to accept cash.

• Uncle Fester : [ready to post his love letter]  Do you think I ought to send a snapshot along?

  Morticia Addams : I believe so. How about that nice one the city took?

  Gomez Addams : The time you fell asleep on the park bench and they carried you off to the morgue by mistake.

• Uncle Fester : Well, under the circumstances, I... I though I'd take a bride.

  Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, you just can't take a one, you're supposed to find your own.

  Gomez Addams : It's the sporting way, old boy.

  Morticia Addams : You'll be fighting the women off with clubs...

  Uncle Fester : Clubs?

  [things a moment] 

  Uncle Fester : Yeah... I think I'd like that...

• Uncle Fester : You wouldn't even let me fix that leak in the roof! And my finger fit it perfectly.

  Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, I told you: that's my favorite leak.

• Miss Carver : Let me show you something exotic for the boudoir.

  Uncle Fester : [shouting]  Don't you dare!

• Gomez Addams : Someone at the door!

  Morticia Addams : Oh darling, it's Uncle Festers mail order bride.

  Uncle Fester : Ugly duckling!