- Face: I was looking for H. M. Murdock's room, well I guess I found it.
- Nurse Beth Billings: Well, ehm, he, he started off earlier this morning but we're used to strange behaviour with Mr. Murdock, but he's gotten much worse. I mean if I didn't know better, I'd actually believe he has been bitten and has contracted rabies.
- Face: Nurse, believe it.
- Nurse Beth Billings: Oh, but that's, that's not possible, you see, Mr. Murdock's dog is a figment of his imagination.
- Nurse Beth Billings: [momentarily distracted as Murdock scratches the door] Oh, I'm Sorry doctor, I don't know you, and apparently you're not familiar with this case...
- Face: Oh, that's because, eh, I'm not a doctor.
- [hands over a business card]
- Nurse Beth Billings: The United States Department of Animal Health and Welfare?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Now, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way. In about a minute I and my three friends are gonna unleash on you your worst nightmare. You're gonna wish the earth opened up underneath your feet and swallowed you whole.
- Mobster Tommy Tillis: What's the easy way?
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Oh, that was the easy way.
- "Faceman": [Murdock and Face arrive to join the fight already in progress] Almost predictable by now, isn't it?
- "Faceman": I don't think we wanna get in this guy's way. Crazy Tommy T hits a wall head on, there's nothing left but a pile of bricks.
- "Hannibal" Smith: I thought we were caught up in a jurisdiction dispute between hardhats, but it looks like we've kicked over a rock and found a scorpion.
- Hannibal: B.A., weren't you going to get a haircut?
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: Oh yeah... my hair is getting a little long.
- Hannibal: Face, you take Murdock back, I'm going to go with B.A.
- "Faceman": I just brought him! I picked him up!
- [Murdock sticks his hands in Face's pockets looking for animal crackers]
- "Faceman": Murdock will you get your hands out of my jacket?
- "Hannibal" Smith: What do you think, B.A.?
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: I think maybe I wanna meet this dude, and maybe help him with his bridgework. Like bustin' up his mouth.
- "Faceman": Hey, B.A., that's very funny. You know, you're developing a sense of humor. Slowly, but, eh, it's developing.
- [B.A. growls at him]
- Randy Stern: But there's only four of you.
- Mickey Stern: Yeah, he's got an army!
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Yeah, well, the poor suckers haven't got a chance.
- Nurse Beth Billings: Wait! Mr. Murdock is a patient here, I can't just release him to someone from the pound!
- Face: We happen to be a division of the federal government, I am working in conjunction with the department of health services, which is a jurisdiction over any and all state intuitions, so please, please be careful before coughing up the word pound like that.
- Hannibal: [window washing on a scaffold] B.A., take us down.
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: What's up, Hannibal?
- Hannibal: They've got Face.
- Face: [with Murdock, coming up on a fight between Hannibal, B.A. and the bad guys] It's getting almost predictable, isn't it?