- "Howling Mad" Murdock: [Murdock is drving B.A.'s van] I don't suppose that you've noticed that I'm wearing gold, hmm? Do you know why? Let me tell you why. I got behind the wheel of this van here and I noticed that she was shimmying a little, pulling to the left. Well, it finally hit me: that ugly mudsucker tunes the suspencion of this van to compensate for all that gold he was wearing. So I put on a few chains, a few rings, a bracelet and some bricks under the seat. And it worked.
- John "Hannibal" Smith: Oh, I'm, eh, sorry about that hole in your boat.
- Johnny Turian: What hole?
- John "Hannibal" Smith: [pulls out a grenade] The hole that, eh, this is gonna make.
- John "Hannibal" Smith: [throws the grenade down the corridor] Abandon ship!
- "Howling Mad" Murdock: I can't believe she turned him in! You better come up with a plan lickety split, Colonel, otherwise our Faceman's gonna be doing flip-ups with Charlie Tuna.
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Come on, Hannibal, you know we didn't do anything. We took a mission. We knocked out an enemy position, which just happened to be a bank. Our commanding officer gets killed and, eh, so we end up getting sacrifised, to 'preserve international relations'.
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Look, Rina, I know you're in trouble and I wanna help, alright, so just, just tell me!
- Rina Turian: Don't you think there's a few things you should tell me? Like who you really are?
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, there's eh... there's a part of my life I didn't want you to know about.
- Rina Turian: Looks like we have more in common than we thought.
- Johnny Turian: My security is falling apart! You know, what am I paying you guys for? I got guys coming at me with machine guns in my warehouse and you let a couple of two bit jewel thieves waltz in here and rip off my cufflinks!