- Coulton's Daughter: Are you sure you're all right? You really should be lying down, you know.
- Face: Oh, I can't lie down. Not till we get Hannibal's boots back.
- Amy: Wow. Those blood capsules are really realistic.
- Face: Think so, huh? I accidentally swallowed the capsules. Hannibal split the inside of my lip.
- Hannibal: Sorry, kid. You walked right into that one.
- Face: [spitting out a tooth] Oh, there goes another cap!
- B.A. Baracus: Hannibal, why did you go bust Face-man in the lip for? You know you make him ugly you're gonna mess up our meal-ticket. We won't be able to get into good hotel rooms.
- Hannibal: Hey Face, what do you think these guy wear under their skirts?
- Face: Uh, I don't know.
- [to closest cult member]
- Face: Half slip?
- [gets hit in the gut with a rifle]
- Face: Ohhh!
- Hannibal: [to closest cult member] Garter belt?
- [gets in the gut with a rifle]
- Hannibal: Arrgh!
- B.A. Baracus: I think you guys wear panty hose!
- [gets hit doesn't react]
- Sheila's Father: We've got to do something, they might be killed!
- Howling Mad Murdock: They'd rather be dead than in jail, trust me.
- Face: [Face to Coulton's daughter about Murdock] That guy's as crazy as a Mexican rattler, but I love him.
- Howling Mad Murdock: Hey Face, those blood capsules work great!
- B.A. Baracus: Hannibal knocked out his cap!
- Howling Mad Murdock: HANNIBAL! Without the Faceman's smile we get lousy hotels!
- Hannibal: Get that bird off the ground!
- Amy: So now what do we do? How do we get out of here?
- Hannibal: Well first off we may not. We could die right here. Accept that. Anything else is just very good luck. Figure you're dead, can you do that?
- Amy: Are you kidding?
- B.A. Baracus: Look Amy, we all gotta accept death, that way we don't have no fear. It gives us the edge.
- Amy: Well I don't think I can.
- Face: Try. You gotta try.
- Martin James: Have you heard this poem? "The time of right is the goal of the fight. The Lord will prevail where evil shall wail."
- Hannibal: Have you heard THIS poem? "Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, down he run, you smell worse than my socks!"
- [Hannibal and the other members of the team laugh]
- Amy: I think that you are crude and disgusting. All you do is yell at me! 'The pancakes are lumpy!'
- Face: The pancakes ARE lumpy!
- Amy: 'The orange juice is too pulpy!'
- Face: Will you shut up, Sue Ellen? Just shut your damn yap! You've been braying about coffee all morning so let's just get the coffee and let's go, okay?
- Amy: OKAY!
- Tim Coulton: I don't know who you guys are, or what you're plannin' to do, but if I was you, I'd get in that jeep and head right out of here, fast. That reverend James does not play nice.
- Hannibal: Well, it wouldn't be fun if he played nice. Besides, I'm going back to his place.
- Tim Coulton: What for?
- Hannibal: He's got over a hundred kids he's terrorizing up there that need help. Besides, he stole my boots. Nobody steals my boots.
- B.A. Baracus: [about Martin James] The man's a pothead, Hannibal, he's high on smack or a speedball or something. That's why he wears those shades, so you can't see his eyes.
- Face: Boy, eh, you really fill out that tunic. You used to be a line backer for the Rams?
- Brother Stephen: We do the Lord's work. If you're here to taunt us, please don't.
- B.A. Baracus: Hey, Jack, I thought you was a farmer. This place looks like a junkyard.
- Tim Coulton: Well, I turn a lot of junk into art, it's what I do.
- Hannibal: What's in the barn?
- Tim Coulton: My studio.
- B.A. Baracus: Studio? You make movies too? What do you call them, those art movies?
- Tim Coulton: It's where I sculpt.
- Hannibal: [the team has been captured by a cult] Hey, Face, what do think these guys are wearing under their skirts?
- Face: Uh, I don't know.
- [to closest Cult Member]
- Face: Half slip?
- [gets hit in gut with a rifle butt]
- Face: Ohh!
- Hannibal: [to closest cult member] Garter belt?
- [gets hit in the gut with a rifle butt]
- Hannibal: Arrgh!
- B.A. Baracus: I think you guys wear panty hose!
- [gets hit. Doesn't react]